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No bully! Be kind!

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what were your childhood dreams? Friend 09/12/2021 (Sun) 08:37:44 No.2742
when you were a child, didn't the world seem more fascinating than it is right now? at least for me, it made me eager to explore and experience the world. this lead me to pick up some hobbies, and also lead me to my first childhood dream of becoming an airplane pilot... but sadly, that dream remains unfulfilled as of today. but what about you, /kind/? what were your childhood dreams, and were you able to fulfill them? if you haven't, where are you now? are you satisfied with your life?
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I wanted to make animated movies or big comics with lots of characters like Naruto. I ended up more or less quitting art. I don't see it in a depressive light though, I'm more interested in programming now and have very similar dreams about making games and programs. I want to make a game like Terraria that's more focused on building and automation instead of combat. I want to make a game in the same vein as Elder Scrolls. I want to make a farming game with the most advanced NPCs there has ever been, where interacting with NPCs is a core part of the game. I want to make an MMO similar to Runescape except with more sandbox elements, like a world that can be modified by events and changed over time (for example plants spreading). I write down a lot of ideas about things I want to put into games, I could probably fill several books with all that stuff. Admittedly I don't actually get things (besides ideas and design docs) done nearly as much as I should, but I'm slowly learning and working on various projects.
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To be a writer, video game designer, painter, or something similar. How boring.
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Leave a mark on the world? Influence people? It's been so long now.
>>2742 I can't remember what I wanted to be as a kid. Honestly, I don't think I ever really cared. Whenever they asked what we wanted to be when we gave up, I always gave a nonsense answer. I think it's hard to find satisfaction in employment. I'd rather do it on my own terms instead. For now, I'm still a young guy. I still have options, but I haven't taken any yet. Can't say I'm satisfied. Nothing to be satisfied with.
I wanted to make video games. I'd always doodle ideas I had for them, but it never went anywhere since I realized that I'm not cut out for programming. If I were Bill Gates, I'd come up with a vanity video game development company and be an iron-fisted ideas guy.
I liked the idea of making games as a kid. Once I got my first computer at age 12, I picked up some skills like programming and music, and I'd type up gameplay/story ideas. I became a little more inspired once I read about how other big game devs picked up their skills in their childhoods like I did, but overall I wasn't very motivated. Even now I haven't finished much. Despite pushing 30 I've only finished a couple small puzzle games, one being a Tetris clone and the other being based on another anon's design. And lately I've begun to learn why I wasn't very motivated as a kid. I've been reading up on child abuse and neglect, and it's driven me to look back on my own childhood and realize just how bad it was. Kinda hard to have motivation when you hate yourself and everyone else seems to hate you too. I mean, I had a hunch growing up that something was wrong, but I just thought I was too weak to handle it. Now I know better. I'll still get driven to work on something on occasion. Though at this point I think it's out of some desire to seek justice for the kid I could have been, rather than just making a game for its own sake.
>>2746 >I want to make a farming game with the most advanced NPCs there has ever been, where interacting with NPCs is a core part of the game. Wait, did you program our planet?
I wanted to be a modestly famous fantasy/scifi author that also did Let's Plays as a way of interacting with my fanbase.
>>2766 You know too much.
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>>2830 >You know too much.
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Testing whether the mismatch between >>2833 the thumbnail and the full image is resolved by removing ImageMagick's vpAg chunk.
>all these child artists turned adult programmers I'm in the same boat, but somehow still in touch with my artistic side and trying to continuously improve my art skills despite the slow pacing. With nonstop effort and determination I believe I can become a great artist. >>2759 You could look for a gamedev team and join it as a writer and/or concept artist, not everyone involved in game making is a programmer. Ideas are important, so do something with them lest they die with you. >>2762 It's good to read up on mental problems and find their source so you can treat them. Have you thought about seeing a shrink for consultation? Talking with one can greatly lessen the effect of your childhood traumas and motivate you to love yourself and create again, or if you're averse to shrinks at least find someone you trust to talk to. Also know that I don't hate you, and encourage you to love yourself and make your inner child proud. >>2829 You sound like you'd be an interesting author, what happened to that writing dream?
I wanted to become a programmer since I was 9 and I did. It turns out that I had a deluded idea of what that meant. I thought I'd be able to actually program instead of the crazy political bullshit. Entering adulthood, my goal was to save up enough money to live off of investments. I'd be financially stable, have a modest lifestyle, and spend the rest of my days being a game dev. Turns out that's unrealistic. I can't even make enough to save. I can't find jobs and when I do I can't hold them for more than a few months. My current dream is just to find out how to stop panicking all the time.
>>3093 >Have you thought about seeing a shrink for consultation? Yeah, been trying to find one all year. Problem is that I work weekdays, so the only time I'd have to see one is on Saturdays. And there's none available. Even the ones that say they're available Saturdays are all booked on that day of the week. Lately I've been thinking of moving anyway, so maybe with a new job and new town I'll have better luck. But I don't hate myself anymore or think everyone hates me, that's just how I was growing up. I can still feel some deep-seated stuff holding me back, though, so hopefully whatever shrink I find can help me work through that.
>>3103 >Turns out that's unrealistic It's not. Where are you stuck with politics 24/7? That's in your own head.
>>3117 I don't like politics but it's extremely prevalent in relationships between people. It can be extremely dangerous to be targeted by someone who hates your way of life.
>>3126 but what does that have to do with programming? All you have to do is focus on the functions and logic in the code. You don't need to talk political stuff with anyone. I don't.
I remember wanting to be an entomologists as a kid. I had a ton of books about bugs and bug toys. Then I learned that bugs are gross when I turned over a dead animal in my backyard. It was a gory mess with bugs crawling in it. I HATE THEM NOW.
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>>3141 Bugs are our friends, they were eating just like we need to eat. I, too, am grossed out and put-off by decaying matter with bugs on it, but maybe bugs also find us gross because we're so *fresh* - but I love bugs because I love all life, all life is equal and priceless. Go team bugs! This is my first post here ever, hi anon! hi admin! hi everyone! hi bugs!
>>3142 Yeah a small part of me still likes them. They are important but they have to do their important stuff away from me so my skin doesn't crawl off. Also welcome newfriend.
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>>3142 >Go team bugs! This is my first post here ever, hi anon! hi admin! hi everyone! hi bugs! Did I just hear someone say bugs? Hello newfriend!
>>3142 Sorry for replying to myself, just wanted to let you all know this lil guy is called a cock chafer - how did I forget to mention that! Best wishes to all of your dreams may they come to fruition with little-to-no chafing
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>>3139 There's little programming involved. It's mostly socialization. They were eager to snitch on me for every little thing. I'm glad your experience is better. >>3141 Those bugs and fungi are an important part of the ecosystem. They decompose organic matter so that it can be recycled by other organisms. Life wouldn't be the same without them.
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>>3141 I had the opposite experience. I had terrible entomophobia and started learning about insects to overcome my fear. Eventually I started to want to become an entomologist, but I'm still not comfortable around bugs so I kind of gave up on it. >>3142 Welcome welcome. My first post on /kind/ was also defending insects, as it happens. Sadly, the conveniences of our modern post-industrial lifestyles are causing key insect populations to decline. Hopefully more people will learn to appreciate insects and support legislation and lifestyle changes that can protect them.
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>>3142 >all life is equal and priceless Well, if a brainless failed abortion is equal to a human, then a human and a bug necessarily have to be equal as well. Either all life is equal or none is. Calling oneself "pro-life" without embracing this truth is inconsistent and hypocritical. >I had terrible entomophobia and started learning about insects to overcome my fear. I almost know that feel. I don't have a proper phobia, but I can't touch any bug larger than a fly, except maybe a moth since those are particularly harmless. It works like a phobia at close range, just not from afar. I checked it recently and couldn't touch a spider. I still like them and let relatively large spiders live in my room. Cold country, so not that large.
>>3139 That depends on your team. I have a remote job, with relatively educated people, in arguable first world. I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't get in trouble for opinions that aren't any of: >anti-feminist >utterly deranged, like "gays/atheists should be taxed extra/forcibly converted/removed" >utterly retarded, like the above >incompatible with normal morality, like "life is evil and the universe should be cleansed of it" We talk politics pretty often, but it's safe here. Except for that feminism thing. I can see it working completely differently in less "diverse" places. I can see shit like this happening: >third worlders openly spewing moronic shit about gays >in a country with free speech, atheists openly shitting on christianity and beings holy to it >people who hate one political party openly shitting on their voter base, knowing boss is on their side and so on. It's unpleasant to just sit there and listen to your groups being attacked. Doable, but it can really ruin your day.
>>3157 >Well, if a brainless failed abortion is equal to a human I think that's taking things a bit far in regards to the point anon was trying to make. The bug question and the death of our natural ecology isn't something that has to be taking place. It's a failure of the somewhat arbitrary systems man has arranged or have emerged to support man due to a lack of foresight. So, in regards to that, the platitude of "all life is equal and priceless" should obviously make sense. >then a human and a bug necessarily have to be equal >Either all life is equal or none To really get to the heart of the matter in regards to these things can be difficult because of the language that we use. The statement "all life is equal" as an empty platitude can function like a sentence fragment or an unfinished line of code that will not run. "All life is equal..." in regards to what? "All life is unequal..." in regards to what? The devil is in those details and that is where the focus must be. I think that if man looks back in history and at the ecological damage that has been caused by the use of unnecessary toxic chemicals and pollution, it should be apparent, if an honest assessment is made, that things could have been done differently and nothing of value would have been lost. Within that context, the platitude of "All life is equal and priceless" need not be anything worth quarreling about. Sorry if I've misinterpreted or misrepresented the point you were trying to make. Go team bugs! When I was young I dreamed of living in a high tech megalopolis and watching a cyberpunk future unfold before my eyes. I now regret that decision and plan to relocate to a more rural environment. Down with team bugman!
>Calling oneself "pro-life" without embracing this truth is inconsistent and hypocritical. >>3157 "Inconsistent and hypocritical" are pretty widespread. If they were actually "pro-life" they would stop blocking the abolition of the death penalty, especially after the first innocent fully grown human was exonerated from death row, which happened a long time ago. Instead, it's so important to them to maintain the death penalty that they fight for it in a system that occasionally executes an innocent fully grown human. In countries like the USA that still have the death penalty they immediately out themselves as being anti-choice rather than "pro-life", all they want is to go back to a time when women were property.
>>3165 >all they want is to go back to a time when women were property *ugh* what could of been...

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