No.7
>>2I have some free time now, really don't wanna waste it
No.22
Did some driving tests online with my father. He got more right answers than I would have expected, considering the dodgy language used in them.
>>3If you don't mind me asking, how's your friend doing? Heart brakes are painful for anyone, but bottling it up can be even more painful.
No.24
>>22Sadly, I can't actually tell because he hasn't talked about his problem since my last post. He seems to only want to talk about it when its too much for him to deal with alone.
No.42
>>40I see. Sounds a little similar to myself. I ended up on 8ch at the first large migration.
And was on /kind/ soon thereafter. I even got it's first get. It was an absolute shitpost of a get but better that than /sp/eee.
I went thru different periods of quitting image boards. Not that I deliberately quit, just that I'm old and life is getting busier and I don't watch new anime so I don't have much to talk to anyone about.
I don't post anywhere anymore except once or twice a week on a really tiny circle jerk board on a relatively unknown image board website. And there I don't have much to say.
Namefags get gay for each other over time and it just gets weirdly lewd and I don't want that tbh.
>4-5 peopleHonestly that's probably as busy 8/kind/ was before that site died. So it's good to see the few anons stuck to it.
I have contradictory feelings about /kind/ as I see it as a kind space to /improve/. But if you improve and go out into the world.. You are gonna be on the board less. Maybe even leave it.
So I like it. But it just feels odd.
It's also odd to see some old posts saved and posted here in the other thread. One of my old posts cheered me up No.46
>>39I'm not sure how long this iteration will last, but I have found this place again at last. If its even for a fleeting moment, this is fine.
ただいま
No.50
My whole body hurts, as if the struggle to exist in physical space is taking a toll on my very being. I'll try to get some sleep, and hope that this too, shall pass.
Still, my pain is lessened - for 50 get is mine.
No.99
Update: The computer components I ended up getting were not what I expected, I thought I'd get an ASUS motherboard, got an AsRock instead.
Will see if I can get a refund
No.103
>>99nice dubs, but that's unfortunate
No.108
>>103It's ok, if everything goes as I expect it, I'd be able to get the same stuff with 8 gigs of ram for a small extra from another store.
Good works take their time to get done
No.120
>>113I hope you get better.
No.121
Note: Meds don't get rid of autistic anger
No.126
Sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm doing my best
No.158
I'm super confused right now. I'm at a sort of impasse, in that no path forward seems worthwhile. I can't continue as I am now, as that will probably end with my death. I suppose I just don't have anything to live for at the moment; I am simply existing.
No.161
>>158Are you lonely? Family, friends and other relationships are what typically provide purpose for people.
No.162
>>161>Are you lonely?I guess so. I just have a hard time caring about others when I always seem to get disappointed or hurt by them. If not that, I just get annoyed with them.
I'm a bit hard to please, if I'm going to be honest.
No.164
>>162I also felt that way when I was younger, but with time and a different outlook you can build up tolerance for people. Now I see people as a medicine that might be bitter or cause some unwanted effect but is overall better for my wellbeing. Definitely better than dying at least.
No.171
>>163I'm not even trying to learn anything. I'm just not interested in anything at the moment. Really, I should be looking for a job right now.
>>164I would like to say I can tolerate people. I don't really have any issues talking to them and I can make friends pretty easy. It's more of the issue that I don't have much in common with other people, or rather, I don't really have any genuine desire to be their friend.
I live in the middle of nowhere though, so there really isn't much variety around here.
No.213
I'm pretty saddened by the situations at hand, I feel like a hobo at this point. I have a grudge with how most boards are behaving now and can't bear being in them anymore. Maybe I became a softie, but I don't want to bother with metadrama, or meaningless gatekeeping where it isn't called for, or stuff that just completely breaks the mood of the board. Just look at /comfy/ getting into rousing due to religion or how anger is "good for you". You can't delete that without creating some uproar and if you leave it the mood of the board is broken.
I've been living off happenings to be with some people together now, Corona-chan was the last one that made me feel like home. Seeing all the OC and stuff develop there was amazing and truly once in a lifetime event, but you can't milk a happening forever without realizing you're not even invested in it now and it's just a circlejerk with the same three guys now.
I've been learning drawing due to this, the stuff that happen in Q1 of this year made me lose my head, I want to make myself lose my head on my own and not depend on others. But even then, this would probably take ages to pull off properly.
I find bad that the situation is so bad I can only browse /kind/ and another /kind/ themed board now. I think Corona made me realize about a lot of stuff, but at the same time made some other stuff unbearable. I feel alone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7H73jpgX3U No.218
>>213People are idiots, and any sort of group is only as good as it's weakest member; more so with anonymous imageboards. Just appreciate the good times while you can anon. That's all a person can really do.
No.232
I was productive today! Despite getting very little sleep and having a mild hangover, I cleaned a large portion of my garage. I only did it because I'm supposed to be hosting a little get-together tomorrow night. Hopefully it won't be awful, but the guests so far have very little chemistry.
No.239
Yeah, long term of inertia can make you think negatively and slowly spiral down.
If you're able to take strolls from time to time to clear your mind.
If you have a hobby that will help you even more!
No.241
>>213All I can tell you about /comfy/ is that eberrything is okay.
No.287
Every Day I’ve been walking about two times a day around a miles worth per walk. It feels nice afterwards just sitting down staring at the ceiling fan.
No.298
Going to go grocery shopping today. The main things I need to get is cabbage, milk and ham. Cabbage for dinner tonight, milk for coffee/protein shakes and ham to have on salad wraps.
No.310
I feel sad
I don't belong anywhere
No.312
>>310I feel exactly the same anon
I feel exactly the same
No.314
>>310>>312You aren't alone in feeling alone friends.
No.317
>>232It seems it was all a pretty big waste of effort sadly. Things didn't work out as planned, but hey, at least I won't have to feel ashamed of my filth anymore.
No.318
>>313much obliged, friend
>>314it will take a while, but I really want to see things go for the better.
Even when the biggest darkness surround us, I still want to read the book and see what our true selves can fully do.
No.331
My PS2's laser finally died. It's extremely inconvienient because I'll have to find a way to transfer my save files to PC :(
No.348
I had one of those days where I don't get out of bed. Sore ankles from running, sore torso from pushups. I slept for 12 hours and still didn't want to get up. Now it's midnight and I ought to go to sleep…
>>347>They…browse Reddit>Am I in the wrong for feeling this way?Nope.
No.355
>>347Not in the slightest. Become a stable rock in that kids life when they're born, because it doesn't seem like their parents will be.
No.378
>>348>>352>>355Thanks friends. Normally I'll give people the benefit of the doubt in hopes that they'll do the right thing or make necessary changes, but this is a human's upbringing, and I know how bad it can be to be neglected by parents.
I just have a really big soft spot for kids in general.
No.379
>>378My friend, be the best Uncle as you can. It might not be amazing but hey, maybe they could take after you and they could be a hero.
No.384
>>379If I can improve a kid's life, even just a little, that's enough of a reward for me. That's why I want to study to become a teacher.
No.399
>>384A noble reason to get into a noble profession. I hope the best for you and your niece/nephew.
No.401
Why is it that everytime I talk to women it only ever ends up causing me pain? Why do I continue to make the same mistake?
Maybe I should just stick with being alone. It's easier that way.
No.404
>>403and no that pic isn't mine
No.475
I've been feeling kinda down the past few days, and have been thinking about why I can't really develop strong friendships with others. I've come to the conclusion that it's just some trust issues, since I can't really express how I actually feel about things. I would rather act cold and distant to everyone because expressing things has never really had a real benefit for me. At best I'm met with indifference, at worst I get abandoned. I just wish I could meet someone that would give me a reason to trust other people again. So that I could learn that people really aren't so bad.
No.476
>>475An experience earlier tonight has me thinking about that sort of thing.
I hung out with some dudes in a streamchat. It was great fun and we were there for hours talking and watching youtube videos. At the end, they exchanged steam IDs and agreed that friends are in short supply these days. I realized then that I hadn't actually been "hanging out" with them in the same way that they were hanging out with each other; I was shitposting in the chat and participating in some sense, but in another sense
I simply was not there.Ten years ago something similar happened, except in that instance I
was present in a personal way. A bunch of people had so much fun in a pseudonymous twitchchat that we exchanged twitter handles. The last friend I had made from that stopped replying to my emails a year ago, I guess because I revealed too much of my power level. I was
there for a moment too long, treating him like a real person, and talking about something that actually mattered for once.
At the same time, I didn't care too much that he decided to do that. I figured if I'm expendable, so is he. Because that's how things work, now: you can afford to drop people for trivial reasons, as in the internet age there are seemingly a million replacements for every lost friend. Yet the calculus somehow works out to be the opposite: everyone has more "friends" but is lonelier.
No.477
>>476Characters in American Psycho are as anonymous as Anons: nobody knows anybody elses' name, and even though they know each other in person, they remain as ciphers. None have anything about them that's really worth knowing. They're spiritually poor and are only further impoverished by their experiences. Their thoughts and inner-worlds are limited to decadence and instant gratification, and maybe the gnawing sense that something has gone terribly wrong. This, too, seems increasingly to be the world we live in.
The cure for these problems might simply be to articulate them to each other. We're falling into particular technological, postmodern traps, and we don't need to. We can open up in an intelligent way, knowing the weaknesses and blind spots of our interlocutors. Most of the people we try to engage might not be
there, but that is ok. Circumstances demand that those of us who want to go back to having actual human relationships instead of SMSes and tinder hookups need to play the "numbers game" like PUAs.
No.479
>>476>>477The medium is the message.
This is why IM is horrible. It's more about the rapidness of the response rather than the thoughtfulness behind it. It also rewards half-presence instead undivided attention, arguably something that makes for a more thoughtful friendship.
I've been feeling a little down about friends earlier too. It seems like there's never a nice balance - or that people have more fulfilling lives. I've surfed through many IRCs, boards, chat-roulettes - never do I find that sense of, well, maybe we can learn to cherish each other. People take others for granted, nor do they have much of a concern of what is possible.
Frankly I concluded that friends are no longer possible, or something along those lines.
It's easy to cling to friendships to supplicant the problems of how your life moves forward. Earlier I went on a meandering night walk, drinking milk from a 7/11. Here's one of the songs I was listening to, if you're curious:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K-isImH-jcIt's easy to feel so small when you see how empty the streets are and how strong the system is that churns the day forward. It's hard to come to terms with how small you are, or empty if you don't have goals. Aimless.
It's unaesthetic to seek friends the sake of it, when you're aimless. Organic friendships are very hard to come by, though. Relating to people as if they're whole instead of the interests we have in common feels so brittle, too. Maybe you don't need friends anymore as long as you have a goal.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts friends.
No.484
>>479Yeah, it's impossible to have lasting friendships through IM. Through IM, you can't build the same kinds of experiences with others that you could with friends you hang out in person with.
Even though I might not be very close with anybody, I still have friends, and I still have a good time with them. Most of them are kind of lame, but you just have to try and make the most of it.
I don't know how old you anons are, or the situation you find yourself in, but you should try and find a friend if you can.
I understand that it's easier said than done, but don't give up on the people around you. Sure, people suck, but nobody is asking you to be their best friend. Next time someone expresses and interest in you, or you see someone mildy interesting, get some lunch with them, and if it goes well, do it again another time.
Anything is better than being alone.
No.495
>>484>Anything is better than being alone.I think that's worth a challenge.
Friends sure are nice to have.
What gets me down about it is what you've said, how it feels a little lame.
It feels lame because it's the same things. It's nice to share an experience.
And it gets old to share that same experience over a lifetime.
When you're alone, you can confront that lameness. Otherwise you settle into that docile state with everyone around you, comforting yourself. "Everyone else is doing it, why not me?"
And yet, I've found, that "everyone" will soon appear far away. Then they'll be gone, and you're in the exact same position again. It's only up to you whether to rectify it, or to find more bodies to hide in before the next migration.
That's been my experience at least. I do think there are friends out there that would be very rewarding to be with. Certainly, and when that time comes I can only hope that there is a warmth in the air, that there are things to share. Just stupid dumb things to reconvene on.
Your best friend is yourself, and there's no need to give more to people you don't consider all that great.
I am by no means advocating being an island unto yourself.
It's important to figure out who is worth spending the finite time with.
https://dcgross.com/the-frequently-overlooked-path-to-happiness/ No.497
>>475I feel similar, and whenever I try to be more open and social I end feeling ashamed of myself for reasons I don't understand.
It doesn't help that I can't find people I have things in common with. One of the people I used to communicate with the most ended up cutting off contact with me because of our differences in beliefs.
No.498
>>479What I've found is that it's difficult to sustain long-term goals in a personal vacuum. My fitness goals are on track, because staying fit is immediately enjoyable.
I'm the gokuposter in the /fit/ thread. But motivation and the ability to invest serious effort into things without an immediate payoff requires, at a minimum, faith that the future will be a place worth living in. And it's hard to have that when things have gone full kali-yuga, as has been the case this year.
That said, the only reason I'm thinking about this subject at all now is that there have been a lot of positive signs lately that there's at least some of the population wants to live on as actualized human beings.
No.499
>>495Yeah, I guess you aren't wrong. Time to yourself is important so you can come to a better understanding of yourself, and yes, it is best to find comfort in yourself because you aren't guaranteed to find anyone to truly be comfortable with. On the other hand, some things just aren't possible to achieve on your own, so it's important to find reliable people, even if they aren't all you would hope they would be.
I guess I'm sort of straying from the point though. There is no objectively right path, regardless.
No.563
Oh /kind/, hopefully soon we will all reach a new stage in our lives where we can find purpose in our actions. Hopefully one day, we can win.
No.564
I got out of bed when I woke up instead of languishing. I got a cup of green tea while checking my email, and then instead of shitposting for some number of hours, I went to the park to challenge… THE RAVINE! A 30m deep hill. I can't sprint all the way up yet, but the attempts are their own reward. It's like pulling the ripcord on a lawnmower. It gets me started. I'm fatigued momentarily and can't stop wim hof breathing for 10 minutes straight, but then I'm warmed up and ready to sprint again after that, and the feeling lingers all day. The feeling itself is a kind of purpose; it makes every avenue of endeavor more interesting.
Took a cold shower, did some laundry, cleaned my bedroom, made a wholesome breakfast, and ate my leftover kale smoothie from yesterday. Read a chapter of Julius Evola's Ride the Tiger. I'm not a huge fan of Evola, but his oeuvre is a giant rejection of nihilistic materialism.
Meditated, which has been next to impossible for the last several months. I'm not sure why; I've just had no focus, and I suppose no sense of the future. So I set the timer down from 20 minutes, to five minutes, and resolved to keep my eyes shut and count my breaths and try not to get too distracted until the time is up. And that worked. That's a start, at least, even if for some reason I have to start back from square one. When well-practiced, this form of ascesis quells the urgings of the lower self to engage in unworthy behaviors, but I'm not there yet.
I also figured out how to transcode mp4s to webms with a 5:1 recompression ratio, and very little quality loss. S'cool.
Also kicked ass at work but I think I'm at the character limit.
No.571
>>566Aw, that's pretty rough. I mean, as long as you get some sort of enjoyment out of it, I guess it's not too bad. I'd recommend picking up another smaller hobby, so you don't end up burning yourself out.
No.572
>>562Sometimes I don't feel like posting on /kind/ because I feel like I'm too aggresive for it or that I feel it would fit better somewhere else.
It's not from embarrassment I delete stuff, baka.
No.582
>>571I like doing it, that's not the issue. And if I got bored of it, there are plenty of other things that I like to do. My problem is that it feels like they are not leading anywhere. It feels like since I have started working, I have been standing still. There's nothing to strive for.
But this is probably more fit for a mopey thread.
No.590
>>572Today's bloggorhea: I've recently learned enough Japanese to read that image without looking anything up. I guess I can't say watching GCCX never taught me anything— that's where I learned how "jigoku" is written.
I'm pretty chuffed, no joke.>>582This is what's sometimes called "the end of history." There seems to be nothing left to do but live out our lives consuming as much as we can, for as long as possible. I feel like we've been blindered to thinking sanely about the way we spend our lives. It's a cliché to say that there's more to life than money, but it's somehow still shocking when it turns out any amount of wealth earned might not even amount to subsistence on a spiritual level.
We
don't need more hobbies. We already have too many diversions and ways of wiling away the years. We need things that matter down to our marrow.
No.602
I got a desk.
I like it even though it’s a little too big for my comfort but I like it.
No.623
>>573I for one have never been a fan of forced comfy. That said, I never liked 8/kind/ all the much. This place has potential.
No.643
Just went for a 6k run. I don't know what it is about hill-climbing, but I get back and start vibing on boomer rock and metal covers of videogame music, and eating eggs on toast like it's the best thing ever. Gotta go
fast my dudes. Sonic knew the secret of life all along.
Also, I saw a little girl on a bike, pedaling furiously to maintain a jogging pace because she was in the wrong gear. It was the cutest. :3
And RIP Kurt Hennig, I guess. ;_;7>>613>I have poisonous thoughts constantly swirling around in my headUnderstandable; one of the horrors of the modern world is in how efficaceously it has demoralized and turned us against ourselves, en masse. This is maybe the biggest problem a person can face, because it engenders a victim mentality.
>>641>if we think we found a purpose, how do we know it's not a lieIf you're lying to yourself, who is the deceiver, and who the deceived?
No.644
>>641There is no true purpose in life. Only you can decide on why you choose to live. In other words, do what you can to get what you want, even if it's something extremely basic.
No.663
>>641We have been created only as servants to God. Some people choose instead to serve their own desires, or money, or fame, or what have you. Don't be like them because they are truly losers. Read the Qur'an, it might just change your life.
No.673
>>641I believe that each of us is an emanation of the Absolute experiencing itself through many lifetimes, and our goal should be to start identifying more with our ultimate origins and less with the temporary characters we're playing in the here and now. Beyond that, I think it's up to us to discover our true will for this lifetime and allow others the same courtesy to follow their own path.
No.676
I miss Lizchan.
No.679
Morning kind. No idea what I'm going to do today.
No.701
>>688What games do you play? Maybe we can be friends.
No.702
>>701I am too embarrassed to say. Every multiplayer game that I could list would be a 'normie' game.
No.734
I started watching Non Non Biyori this weekend (got both seasons on blu-ray), and my face started to hurt. Then I realized I had this huge grin on my face without even noticing.
No.768
>>702You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.
No.789
>>734That’s the reason I watch Yuruyuri every few days.
No.795
Already settled up the new components for my computer but dear god does my back hurt from mingling with everything yesterday
No.811
>>734Gochiusa has the same effect on me, I can't wait for season 3.
No.813
>>671How was it like? Please tell me anything that you remember.
No.843
I don't think I've been quite so lonely as I feel tonight. Normally I find the silence comforting, but right now, I can't help but think about the fact that there are people out there right now, having a great time with others, and how I haven't had that in a very long time. Even if I remove everyone, I'll still feel pain.
No.847
I'm so tired, /kind/. I'm so tired of everything. Its as if reality is constantly trying to keep me broke. My UPS died on me while I'm trying to ration my food. I'll miss all these comfy imageboards. I don't want to face another day. I can't. I just can't. I'm so tired.
No.851
>>847Why do you need a UPS my friend? Maybe for now you could use a cheaper computer just meant for internet.
No.886
>>885I'll never not want to kill myself, but I don't have anything against others really.
No.896
Haven't posted in a while. Hello /kind/, I'm not up to too much. I've just been practicing Spanish and Italian a bit, I picked up smoking again which is very not-good. I think this will be the fifth unsuccessful attempt at quitting.
I'm just listening to GhibliJazz on Youtube while doing internet stuff. I plan on continuing to play Dragon Question XI after I finish lunch, un sándwich de pescado con sal y salsa de tomate fish sandwich with salt and tomato sauce.
I've been feeling a little bit better mentally lately, which is nice.
No.961
I just had my birthday recently, that was pretty fun!
I hadn't seen any friends for a few weeks before that, so it was nice to have human contact. It's still exhausting, but it's times like those that remind me that things aren't that bad yet. That I still have a lot to lose.
No.968
>>961Happy belated birthday mate. Hope it was a good one.
>>962That's okay, not every day needs to be productive.
No.970
This month I'm doing daily morning exercises again
No.974
>>970Good work mate, proud of you. I've been struggling to try to go to the gym but will try to start tomorrow.
No.1048
>>974I didn't start going to the gym yet.
No.1049
I'm thinking about joining the military to get my shit sorted and force myself to improve while I'm still young. I dunno what else I could really do. It seems like the best path to take at this point.
No.1092
>>851I live in a shithole country and the power grid isn't exactly reliable, and using the mains directly is probably dangerous for a PC.
No.1117
>>1092I live in the Midwestern US, and the power will sometimes flicker when there's a storm wiping out my incognito tabs.
No.1129
I made a beef and barley stew in my slow cooker. It was kind of bland so I added some white miso paste since I read online that can help a bland stew. It tastes a bit better, wish I had a can of tomatoes to add to it.
No.1134
>>2Is this for sadblogging, too? If not I apologize for the following: looking at very pretty 3D today and over the past few days made me so nearly teary-eyed from tfwnogf that I had to switch my desktop wallpapers to shuffle 2D instead and then I turned off my numerous cosplayer photo feeds.
No.1192
Just upgraded my internet to 100 Mbs. Bad news is that it's 5g so I guess my balls will be fried later on.
No.1194
>>1192>Just upgraded my internet to 100 MbsJealous of that 100Mbs! Sometimes it seems like my connection might as well be dialup
>5g so I guess my balls will be fried later onI think as long as your not sitting directly on the phone or modem or whatever, you'll be OK
No.1279
I went shopping today. Main things I bought was feta cheese and kalamata olives for salad, also got some strawberries, muesli bars and some other stuff.
No.1285
>>1281I can't play your video, but good luck with your game, anon! Will you post it here when it's finished?
No.1290
>>1285Probably!
Also, is the mp4 not playing because your browser can't decode it?
No.1343
I went to my friend's house today on my bike and I helped him work on his Miata. It was pretty nice and I had dinner there as well before going home.
Also it's really smoky outside because there's a fire. And it's a record heatwave too but I feel fine.
>>1134Yeah that just sounds like a healthy choice in general
No.1351
>>1290says it's a corrupt file
No.1356
>>1351I see! Thanks for the heads-up. I should probably be doing webbums anyway.
No.1381
>>1379I dunno what you mean, exactly.
It's been a meme for the last few decades that young adults seem to be under a lot of stress for some reason. It was something they had to "teach" us about in school, in the '90s, and it's probably a lot more ridiculous now. Kind of like infomercials for the mere fact of existence. "Whatever you do, don't freak out and kill yourself, please!"
There's an apparent need to tell you that, and if the solution is not to fix the problem but instead to tell everyone "drug are bad, mmkay. You shouldn't do drugs even though life is driving you nuts and you need an escape" then of course people will go a little nuts.
I can't imagine anyone
not feeling a little unhinged these days, in particular. Things are absurd, and most of the people pointing out how absurd things are seem also to want everyone to freak out about how everyone is freaking out. Basically just telling people to
be more scared about how scared everyone is.Absurd.
So yeah, you're not alone. Most people probably feel that way, at least a little, for one reason or another.
No.1389
>>1381I did more mean something like
>>1383 this, except doing dumb things are followed by either anger or a panic attack about said dumb thing then followed by gut-busting knee slapping laughter of how dumb said thing was, then transforming into falling asleep crying in a ball either in bed or in a chair.
No.1436
Had some steamed veggies with brown rice and mixed some hoisin sauce in with it. Tasty pretty nice.
No.1440
Windows makes me lazy, but linux is broken and can't do anything on it.
Such a troublesome dilemma.
No.1442
I'm pretty tired at this point. I've just had an 8 hour flight after playing guitar hero with friends for 12 hours prior to that. Hopefully the next few days will be good.
No.1448
>>1442>playing guitar hero with friends for 12 hours Clone Hero? What tracks?
No.1449
>>1448Nah, we got wireless 360 drums the day before, so we didn't have an adapter to use em on PC. Otherwise we would've.
Instead we played Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock, and pretty much marathoned it, with quite a few breaks to play other similar games, or trying some games that you could theoretically play with the guitar controller.
No.1472
>>1468Cussing is a crutch used in place of well-formed, grown-up articulation. You should aim, ultimately, to speak in a way that is less spicy but more substantial rather than trying to excise the bad habit without filling the vacuum. As a stopgap, try replacing offending words with bowdlerized versions like "hecking" and "bullcorn".
It's also sobering to remember how vulgarity reflects on you. I was on the bus once upon a time, and saw a guy through the window. Bad posture, no physique, shabby clothes, unshaven. I immediately thought "wow, what a fucking loser." Then I looked at myself and was like "oh wait, I'm pretty much the same way."
It hit me like a ton of bricks that that was, in fact, how I had been presenting myself to the world. Crude, apathetic trash. That was all the persuasion I needed to change everything.
>>1430 (me)
This was a good idea! I've had more time to get work done, and accumulated less negativity before starting the day. The meditation is itself a countermeasure for the negativity I did accumulate.
>>1440Sad but true. Makes me want to try Kolibrios or Haiku or something.
Which is pointless because these alternatives won't be any better, but still. No.1499
The thought crossed my mind today to make a board for failed normalfriends. From the few times I've seen them mentioned it looks like a lot of people really hate them so I thought they maybe they could use a board to call home. I'm not sure what I would call it, /failnorm/ is the best name I can think of but I feel like that's too long. I'm also not entirely optimistic it would go well since the people that would populate it still have some amount of normalfriend in them so it might be filled with bad posts if it wouldn't just be empty entirely.
No.1500
>>1499I've seen people call /kind/ the board where failednormalfriends go to not get bullied anymore.
No.1501
>>1499>>1500How exactly is "failed normalfriend" defined? To me it's a person who is in denial about being a weirdo and still clings to normality, but I think I've seen people using it in the exact opposite way.
No.1508
>>1506>You can usually see them shitting up boards with crybaby posts about girl problems.Okay, that's how I used to use the phrase. I went to /r9k/ a lot years ago and stopped going when the catalog got clogged up with those kinds of relationship threads.
No.1523
>>1499Failed norms would be cyborgs. The board would be a pit of cancer in today's climate.
No.1581
>>1571I'm glad to hear that, friend.
No.1673
>>1638You're awakening something deep in my soul that wasn't there before, am I becoming an S?
>>1663Which Windows?
No.1674
>>167310Also computer boots up but the monitor gives nothing, will continue tomorrow
No.1726
>>1506I'm glad I don't have girl problems. The only real obstacle for me is myself.
No.1748
>>1747>I'm starting to feel melancholicHuh, melancholy is a common thing for me. I like to say that I'm "feeling blue" when I have it.
No.1764
>>1748I'm a lot less prone to depression than I was as a teenager but still feel melancholic around this time of year. It could almost be described as a sense of dread.
No.2098
I just want to be loved. However, I'm aware that I am something that should not be. The days go by, and each day brings me closer to final oblivion. I probably wont kill myself - too much of a coward, haha.
No.2147
I was comfy in bed until my sister and her boyfriend started fucking loudly in the next room. I hate living with other people damnit. Why can't people just be considerate of others around them?
No.2150
Going to save up for a trip overseas sometime next year. I've saved up $3,000 so far from the extra government gibs during la 'rona. Going to go mega scab mode and try saving up the same amount for around this time next year and see where that leaves me for the trip.
No idea where I'm going to visit though, I just need to get away from my life in this town and ideally out of Australia for a bit. I am learning German and Spanish, so German and Spanish speaking countries would be a good choice I suppose. The plan is still in the beginning phase though.
No.2151
>>2150Germany seems pretty cool. I'd like to visit Bamburg, since that's where my great-grandmother's from. It's a beautiful country so long as you stay away from major cities, as far as I'm aware anyway.
No.2154
>>2151I would love to go to Korea when I’m fluent because my parent’s are from there, it’s just don’t like it’s owned by the Chaebols.
No.2191
I feel so lonely, I wish I had a friend to hang out with
No.2225
Shaved my head and used some honey and milk body wash stuff I found in the shower on it. Smells nice and my head feels smooth.
No.2276
ate a banana
No.2295
I had an absolutely horrible experience today. My car's at a bodyshop right now because I let someone borrow it and they dinged it up a bit. The shop let me borrow a car while they work on my car. The only thing available was a 2019 mustang. I didn't think it'd be so bad, but it actually is really bad. I've driven some shitty vehicles, but this one takes the cake.
No.2297
>>2280Don't worry. They just want to know you stuck it out and finished school. The degree itself isn't so important in undergraduate. If the company is worth it's salt, they will train you themselves in what they want from you so don't worry about it Anon. Be prepared to work an internship when you graduate however.
No.2300
Watched the first episode of Tonikaku Kawaii… I just want to experience love… or die…
No.2304
>>2280If you're falling behind already just quit and learn coding at home.
No.2312
>>2300>Tonikaku KawaiiThanks for mentioning that, I didn't know about it. It's cute, I hope they will do a good job with it.
>>2310My relationship with God is what gives me peace Anon.
No.2316
>>2280Don't give up friend.
No.2321
Despite the lockdowns, its kinda like its become more difficult as of late to find good outlets or interesting interactive sites online. Someone said that the 2020's would bring a 90's revival, so things like personal sites and curated feeds and discovery elements like web rings might become more prominent again. It might be interesting if there be some sites which were less one way street (as in here's my content like it or not) and more like interactive for the user of the site to leave some sign of them having been there other than just commenting. Maybe some kinda game element in which different color pieces from each visitor making up a big whole, but this is just an idea. It might just be that we need something to better discover new things online other than looking stuff up, because looking up stuff requires you to know somewhat what you're looking for by written description and sometimes one's description isn't adequate enough to bring a good satisfying result.
No.2328
How much does weight gain and the succeeding overweightness/obesity actually bother women who wanted a child and likes that child? Is it bothersome and even grueling, an unfortunate side effect, a duty as a mother, or do they not care at all? What about if their breasts go flabby from breastfeeding?
No.2332
>>2328Nobody likes gaining weight. It depends on the woman I guess. If she used to lead an active life before, it'll probably bother her a lot, otherwise it probably sucks but isn't that big of a deal. I imagine single mothers are more bothered by it, since it reduces their chances of finding a partner along with their kid.
Basically, it depends on the woman. They aren't all the same, you know.
No.2451
Struggling with intense depression because this is the fifth time I've failed my attempt to get higher education. I've often joked about becoming a dealer back in middle school, but now I'm seriously considering it.
No.2459
>>2451A used car dealer, right?
No.2460
>>2459>A used car dealer, right?or picrelated, maybe?
>>2451but srsly fren, best of luck
>intense depressionknow that feel and here's hoping you can find something to focus on that will bring some joy into yr life
No.2464
>>2459>>2460Haha, I smiled just a little. Thanks friends. The situation's pretty hopeless, though. Can't send money to afford education in a foreign country, cant find a job that's not dead-end barely-scraping-by.
Shit was back in 2019, but /kind/ kept me going. Thanks.
No.2489
Possibly Halloween related blogpost. Some real spooky shit happened. I got creeped out when I woke up this morning. The innermost pillow case inside one of my pillows, the one that holds the stuffing together, degraded over time and I failed to notice. I must have tossed and turned in my sleep, because I woke up to find a bunch of pillow stuffing all over myself and the bed. Wh… Wh… What is this? What is happening? Much confused. For a brief moment I felt like screaming like that scene in The Godfather with the horse head. It was like a stuffed animal committed seppuko while I was sleeping. After I came to my senses and figured out what probably happened, a thought occured… What if this happened to one of those dakimakura anons? Imagine waking up to find that your waifu is bleeding out and her guts are strewn all over the bed. It's been a weird morning and I think I might go back to bed and sleep in for a while, now that I've cleaned up the mess.
No.2492
>>2489Rebuild my friend, put new guts and life into a cover.
No.2610
If you don't mind my little whining.
Basically, I'm struggling to get motivated to do anything considered productive. Part of me regrets studying Computer Engineering but I invested too much time to drop it by now, and I know deep down I don't have something else to work towards. Not that I was really motivated to study CE to begin with, but I wanted to get a degree to get a good job and move somewhere else where I can live in peace and quiet by myself. I feel silly now and maybe I should have thought twice when I realized I actually suck at Math and anything related instead of keep going at it. For a moment I even wanted to drop uni and get a job to get some money, but I live in a shithole country with a terrible economy and I neither have any reliable connections. So this option is out.
Now I'm falling behind in my classes, my stress is rising and I have absolutely no idea what to do besides wanting to give up on everything. And I can't help to blame myself for not having anything resembling to a goal to go towards.
Thanks for reading my little whining. Writing all this was pretty embarrassing, since I usually keep everything inside (I know it's not healthy but I can't help it).
P.D: I wish I could have the freedom to be a NEET.
No.2612
I hate being so short. It never really bothered me until after high school. I never felt bad about my height until after I graduated high school and started seeing people genuine contempt and hatred for short men online, as opposed to lightly poking fun at them. If a short guy does something to better himself (whether it be exercising, presenting himself better, developing artistic talents, or whatever else), he gets accused of just trying to compensate for his height and caught in a catch-22. If he works out and improves his appearance, for example, he's overcompensating. If he doesn't, he's an ugly and out-of-shape slob who needs to put some effort into his appearance. There were girls who seemed interested in me in high school, but at this point the relentless short-bashing and overemphasis on height has completely shattered my sense of self-confidence. It would help if I wasn't getting older and uglier.
>>2610>I feel silly now and maybe I should have thought twice when I realized I actually suck at Math and anything related instead of keep going at it.I wanted to work in the video game industry as a kid and young teenager, but my total lack of math skills are why I gave that dream up.
>P.D: I wish I could have the freedom to be a NEET.For me working a few hours gives my day a sense of order. When I was a NEET, I'd always feel a sense of malaise.
No.2614
>>2612But you don't need math skills for this new game economy
No.2616
>>2614Not even as far as programming goes? I don't really have too much of an interest in the idea of making games anymore, and I'm actually glad. There are other things that are bigger priorities for me right now. Having said that, if I were filthy rich I'd probably start my own vanity game company where I would be an idea guy.
No.2622
>>2621They're just fond memories from a board that felt like 2008.
No.2623
>>2622No problems with it, it just is strange to me.
No.2624
>>811I hope you're enjoying season 3 of Gochiusa!
No.2639
>>2620I honestly think it's more than that nowadays. A good amount of it seems like genuine contempt and disgust at this point. That's especially true when it comes from women.
No.2640
started learning how to draw yesterday, reading loomis right now. soon i'll be able to draw anime girls
>>734I've only gotten that with K-on that's why is my favorite anime. its such a nice feeling.
>>2639Try to remember that the internet is not real life. And only stupid thots care about that.
No.2641
>>2640I second this. I have never seen height mentioned day to day in real life.
I really dont think most people care.
No.2642
>>2639In my opinion, all that manlet hate comes from a meme that people on the internet took too seriously, like a lot of content from the internet actually. And I'm a fairly short person too.
No.2643
>>2621people will be nostalgic for their youth no matter when they lived and what was the trend.
I remember there was a time no one could bear Twilight being as popular as it was. Now this track makes me think it wasn't that bad
No.2644
>>2640>Try to remember that the internet is not real life. And only stupid thots care about that.The Internet isn't real life, but real life is increasingly starting to resemble the Internet. I think it's more common than you'd think, especially with how picky women are getting on the dating market. I get why women like tall guys, but it seems like it's becoming more common for them to write off any guys who aren't tall and a lot of men seem eager to go along with it just to make themselves look better.
At least homos seem like they'd be more open to a guy the height of a Vietnamese man. It's just too bad I'm not attracted to most guys I see.
>>2642Yeah, the basic idea from what I understand was that it was a joke to get short /fit/ users riled up about something no amount of weightlifting will change. Something like that is funny to me, but at some point it seems to have gone from a funny trolling technique to people taking it seriously.
Too many people don't seem to be able to understand tongue-in-cheek imageboard memes and wind up taking them at face value.
No.2647
If that 4'11" ben franklin looking guy on 90 day fiance can get married and have kids, so can you!
No.2648
>>2643I decided to watch the Twilight saga years after it was done with thinking it'd be a guilty pleasure but they really were mediocre movies.
No.2658
>>2644Aside from the whole rice queen/potato queen phenomenon, there are a lot of men who explicitly state no Asians. There's no shortage of people who can afford to be picky.
No.2659
>>2647It's possible, but I don't see that kind of life being in the cards for me.
Either way, it's helped to vent about this. It might sound delusional, but one of my coping mechanisms has been reading about scientific advances being made in terms of things like life extension and disease treatments, as well as treatments in more cosmetic areas (like hair loss). I don't know if there's any theoretical way to cure shortness at this point, but it helps to have hope that maybe I could live to see one without looking like a feeble old man.
>>2658I knew Asian guys were discriminated against in straight relationships and as gay tops, but even as bottoms? I'm not actually Asian, but that makes me feel even worse for them if it's true. I wonder if it's an attitude thing or an appearance thing (like height and shoulder width) or what other factors could influence it. I think they'd do better if they'd worked out more and tried to be more assertive and individualistic (i.e., be willing to part ways with consensus opinions and community-based cultural values to live the life you want) to try and counter the stereotypes. Speaking from experience, you can only go so far if that isn't in your personal nature though. I can sympathize due to having some stereotypically Asian personality traits.
No.2662
I'm so stupid…
No.2665
>>2658I don't understand how a "racial preference" isn't considered racist but soooooo much other stuff is.
No.2666
Asians can be very handsome, especially when they have that swagger that I most commonly get from those who dress like stereotypical delinquents.
I don’t think those ones are the ones who whine about discrimination in dating.
>>2659You could just get a penoma. 3D will excuse a lot if you have Thor's Hammer in your pants.
No.2668
>>2663Its embarassing. sorry, I did write it when I made the post and then looked at it and deleted it. Calling myself stupid made me feel better for some reason.
>>2666nice numbers
No.2671
>>2669I feel you, friend. This is one of the reasons why I retreated to small image boards like this.
No.2673
>>2668A weird mantra I developed for myself recently has been "If it's too stupid to tell someone about, then it's too stupid to worry about." It's worked for me whenever those dumb random memories from being younger intrude on my daily thoughts. It's also better than beating yourself up over it.
No.2674
>>2669I think it's important to remember how deeply rooted internet humor is in "inside" jokes. For as long as memes have existed, they've iterated and referenced on previous incarnations, growing and changing until they're at a point where even though the new product bears no resemblance to the original, they require a knowledge of the surrounding works and jokes to appreciate fully. To really get a sense of all the memes, you gotta be in with the group creating them, and if you're not hanging out with teenagers and young adults, you might have missed the context that makes certain new jokes funny. You're growing up, but that's okay. It's time for all of you to make old person jokes young people won't get.
No.2676
>>2666>Asians can be very handsome, especially when they have that swagger that I most commonly get from those who dress like stereotypical delinquents.I think Japanese guys in particular can definitely be attractive in a masculine way. Unfortunately, the more "dominant" ones have stereotypes working against them. A lot of them seem to be more cute than handsome.
>I don’t think those ones are the ones who whine about discrimination in dating.I get why they're pissed off, but to be fair I get the impression that they haven't tried things like working out. Not to pick on them too much, but guys from Asian cultures tend to grow up in pretty "beta" environments and could use more emphasis on physical fitness.
>You could just get a penoma. 3D will excuse a lot if you have Thor's Hammer in your pants.I plan on staying away from implants, but I'm definitely open to certain penis enlargement methods in the future. The Phallosan Forte seems like a good fit for length. I'd like to gain a lot of girth too. I tried the Angion Method for a bit and actually did gain some girth, so I plan on coming back to it in the future.
I'd recommend staying away from jelqing from personal experience. I'm the guy who mentioned having schlong problems earlier in the thread, and that was what caused them.
>>2669Same here.
No.2678
>>2669Some feel randomly generated at this point.
Look at penis music, I dont fucking get it!
No.2725
>>2711I'm bad at keeping friends, but in a way it's my own fault. My natural tendency is to cocoon myself and keep away from other people, and that's no way to maintain any kind of relationship. I also have problems relating to people and have a terrible tendency to see the worst in others. I think I'm too broken inside to have real relationships with other people.
No.2793
I can be pretty mean on imageboards sometimes (not here), over the years I became more sincere and kind even through imageboards.
I was reading that anonymity shows the true self and how (flaming) anonymous opinions aren't worth considering because they don't put a name to them.
There was a time when I got namedropped and some people were talking shit about my internet profiles (im just a rando btw)I didn't reply to any of them but also no one contacted me with another account. They were just shit talking on the board (not all of them, some of them were nice), I would've replied if they contacted me but it made me realize that most malicious anonimous people don't do shit and just circle jerk about people on the internet all day. Eventually it was forgotten and I kept going there until I felt I didn't belong anymore.
But that's not the point of this post, I want to be a good person even when I'm anonymous so I'm gonna stop being a shitter and be kind everywhere. I just suddenly felt really bad for casually using the word ch*nk (my post was against the ccp and its sympathizers but not all chinese people are bad). Then I started to think about all the derogatory terms I've casually used on imageboards. Even If I didn't use them often I started to think about how it speaks about me and it made me feel disappointed in myself.
I felt like apologizing to someone but I can't so I'm just venting here. feeling a bit of a mental fog after thinking about this so I'm gonna watch anime and fall asleep. goodnight and thanks for reading.
>>2725>>2711the worst thing about making friends for me is that you make them by relating to other people and I don't have much in common with the average person. good luck to both of you.
No.2796
I'm probably going to lose a longtime friend I had since grade school over ideological differences in a few days.
Haha…ha… ha.
No.2798
>>2793>the worst thing about making friends for me is that you make them by relating to other people and I don't have much in common with the average person.That might be my biggest problem. It feels like there's an emotional wall between me and everyone else, and I hate it.
>>2796That seems to be happening to everyone lately. I'd be in the same boat if I were still in contact with any of my friends.
No.2803
I want to shoot myself in the fucking face. Everything is fucking terrible and I hate all of it and I have no idea why I was put on this godforsaken living-nightmare hellscape and what the fuck is expected of me. Anyway so my day has been mediocre, I made a pizza and it was pretty good. I dip pizza in cheese sauce which is weird because the pizza already has cheese on it but I don't care.
I've been procrastinating a bunch of shit I need to do because I don't feel like doing any of it because fuck everything. Lately I've just been laying around or watching stuff but I think it's time to up my game on the life-wasting and buy a shitload of liquor and try to drunkenly play some videogames.
I dunno why I'm posting here, I've never posted here before. See ya.
No.2811
>>2810I'm only doing it for the meme btw.
No.2812
Tried to get the PS5 all day and they instantly get sold out from bots. Have 1 more chance to get it in 2 hours and guarantee bots will acquire it. Other than that my day was ok.
No.2831
>>2810You are making things harder for yourself. Try to avoid arousing yourself, after a few days things will be easier. For a while at least, it has a tendency to return with a vengeance.
No.2837
I had a strange dream yesterday, a different sort of strange than usual. It was extremely uneventful and somehow it was the most terrifying dream I've ever had.
I was in a huge concrete room that had a fenced in area in the middle. I was between the outer wall and the fence. The floor was made of chainlink fence, and beneath that was just an empty void. The concrete walls had no extra details, they were just like military bunker walls without anything on them. There was an opening high up that provided light to the room. There was a clear blue sky.
The thing that bothers me about this dream was this oppressive uncomfortable feeling I had. I don't think I was alone in there.
No.2842
>>2837I've had dreams like that. One's that on the surface seem totally mundane and innocuous, but I still feel unsettled and anxious, or a presence in the room with me. In fact, it's part of a recurring dream I have sometimes. It's like the part of your brain that controls that particular fear response gets switched on by accident.
No.2860
>>2843Hey, me too.
>>2856That's rough friend. If he changes completely, should you still consider him the same person?
It's also worth considering if you see yourself continuing a meaningful friendship down the line. Maybe don't throw him out, just put him on hold until he calms down a bit.
Either way, it's okay to go your seperate ways.
No.2861
>>2860Good point. I don't think that he is still the same person and I don't consider this a meaningful friendship now, nor did I do this a year or two years before. Highly doubt that it will be one in the future too. I just wonder if he can change again to a better person but right now I really want to ditch him.
Anyway thanks for reading and responding friend.
No.2862
I just wish I was asleep right now
>>2861I have no friends and is not that bad
No.2865
>>2862Take some of those insomnia medicines.
No.2869
>>2862I guess so. I continually lost friend after friend since my earliy teens and I managed nontheless.
No.2871
I just wish I could talk to a girl right now
No.2873
>>2871Me too, or really anyone that doesn't irritate me.
No.2877
>>2865Don't have insomnia I forgot that I had to be awake at that time and didn't sleep all night. I took a nap after it was done but thanks for your concern.
>>2871>>2873same
No.2882
>>2871I bet it feels nice having a girl genuinely interested in you.
No.2883
>>2882I think it really depends on the female Anon.
No.2887
>>2883This. It can be pretty uncomfortable, especially if you don't know the girl at all, or if you really don't like the girl from what you do know.
No.2889
>>2882yeah I bet it does but also
>>2883 is true as well
No.2890
>>2887Or if they are found out to be a less then morally good.
No.2898
>>2892I'm glad I'm not a NEET anymore, even though I'm only making like $11 an hour and can't afford to live by myself yet. I'd mainly like more hours for now. Going to college never helped me because a lot of the concepts are over my head, and on top of that I can't learn hands-on skills in a group setting.
I find that working a few hours a day seems to makes me feel less sluggishness and malaise. I might as well work as much as I can, since in another ten years any job I'm able to live off is probably going to be automated anyway.
No.2902
>>2897I'm glad you enjoyed it that much!
No.2903
>>2892get a job and move out as soon as you can honestly, it's what I want to do but I don't know how I could afford to move out with any job I could get. But if I could afford to move out I'd do it.
>>2898nice. I really should apply for a new job right now as well
No.2905
>>2902Thanks, I recommend watching it to everyone reading this. You don't have to watch the first 2 seasons of Love Live to do it btw.
No.2908
>>2903>get a job and move out as soon as you can honestlyneed a career for that
No.2909
>>2908why? you just need a job. I bet it'll be easier to focus on a career once you're living on your own. maybe not though.
if it didn't cost $1200 a month to move out for me just to rent an apartment, or cost $800 to share a stinky room, I think I'd have moved out already. But sadly I can't.
No.2930
>>2911Graduated? Do they go to school?
No.2931
>>2930Idol speak for retiring essentially.
No.2933
I am in this weird spiral of seeking what I kept myself busy with when I was healthier. I remember two or was it three maybe even four years ago I would be browsing small sites and boards. I would be playing Doom. I would be at my best mentally, sharp like a razor. It is a fake memory I'm making up here.
There was /dream/, there were doom custom maps and there was studying in school, there was my dream diary. In each case I felt myself not quite real, not quite there, not doing it right. I wanted to post in an old thread I know from back then that is still around about venting but now too I felt like I am attempting to reconstruct something artificial.
I tried to make a post there, on that small board but the thread long reached bump limit. It was exactly 3 years, 2 months, 14 days since I made that thread. In that time I met new people, I got new hobbies, I had religious experiences, I studied more and learnt new things. All of this is for no reason at all as right in this moment I cannot escape the fear of having abandoned it. I tried. I tried really hard. Myself from three years ago would be estatic at the cool things I have but this would cease soon when it's clear that I never went through with anything at all. I have nothing to show for. I reached nihil.
Nice place around here.
No.2937
Watching Hidamari Sketch and I think I died.
No.2947
>>2944For me it depends on the setting. For example I watch Cowboy Bebop dubbed. I would only give you a small fine for your offense.
>>2945That's pretty cool! My dad used to tell me about how his uncle had a tamed raccoon a long time ago. They kept it inside during the day and everything. Just be careful, a tamed animal is still pretty much a wild animal.
No.2948
>>2945That's really cool. I never had a raccoon friend, unless their way of showing friendship was knocking over my garbage cans.
>>2947>For me it depends on the settingSame here really. I'll usually watch dubbed versions when it's something like a light echii title that I'm curious about, but unsure about the quality. A non-masterpiece that I have on a second screen while multi-tasking. If it ends up being quality and worth a second watch, I might make time and rewatch it as it was intended, hoping to pick up on some subtle play on words that might get lost in translation.
>I would only give you a small fine for your offenseThanks for not bullying me too hard about that ;^)
No.2960
>>2958Tell your mom hi from me too.
Hello anon's mom.
No.2962
>>2958Thank you for producing a poster for /kind/ anon's mom.
No.2974
I'm normally a pretty laid back person, I tolerate the people I live with being extremely inconsiderate everyday while still being considerate myself.
However, today I've lost a lot of goodwill for them. Last night my brother-in-law needed to borrow my car to go to work since his was somewhere else, which is whatever, I get it. He works 3rd shift so he gets home before I wake up. When I woke up this morning, I look outside so I can see who is home, and I see his shitbox, and my car nowhere to be seen. He left my car to take his car home. I haven't been so pissed off in a long time. I'm so tired of dealing with this shit. I'm a neet, my life shouldn't be so stressful.
No.2978
been super bored lately I want to find something fun to do and uuuhhhh my mom shaved my beard today
No.2979
>>2978oh oh i forgot to mention i commented on a youtube video of a cute japanese girl making a cover of an Idol song like a week ago it has less than a thousand views but she replied saying わをぉ！✨thank you！！！and it made me feel good call me simp or whatever i dont care im glad i made her happy
No.2980
>>2979She's probably getting double dicked down by Chang and Wang as we speak.
No.2981
>>2980I don't think so but I hope she lives a happy and fulfulling life
No.2982
>>2978>and uuuhhhh my mom shaved my beard todayWha? So many questions!
Like, you got troubles with your hands, fren? Poor eyesight or something?
or… were you just,
Mom, the angle on this mirror really sucks, can you help trim the sides so it's symmetrical? Thanks mom!or… did you wake up suddenly with mom standing victoriously over you, an electric clipper in one hand and your beard in the other, wide eyed and screaming…
Ahahaha, I hate this thing!In my case, it would probably go down like that
>mom shaved my beard todayHow does that even happen?
>mom shaved my beard todayseriously, no bully fren… I've just never seen those words in that order before
>>2979>she replied saying わをぉ！✨thank you！！！yr only simp if yr unrealistic. props to you fren, you probably made some random japanese qt happy for a brief moment and there's no harm in that
No.2983
>>2981OMG Yang and Wang just shit on her face and she ate WTF
No.2993
I'm a somewhat famous gamedev, but I won't namefriend here - to do so would be to desecrate the sacred comf of this place. I'll just vent a little.
The truth is - it's lonely at the top. I miss those innocent days on AIM at the turn of the 21st century, working together with friends to build silly, sometimes pointless games together. There was fun bantz, there was memes before memes were a thing, and we did so many things together.
These peaceful days are long gone. As services shut down and boards vanish (anyone remember invisionfree?), little by little, old groups slowly fragment apart. Now, even I have a full time job - so do others. One-man armying is difficult, and no one in this cold new world seems have any sort of confidence or free time. I can't blame them - they have their real world to deal with, too; just like how I have now.
I'll try to get some sleep.
No.2994
Didn't do much today I bought a clinical deodorant and a kleenex box
>>2982We were eating and she asked why I haven't cut my beard in months and I said I was lazy and it grows back quickly she told she would cut it for me with my dad's electric shaver and she did the next day. It was easy and I could've done it myself but I let her do it. I'm gonna keep using that thing because is faster and less mendokusai than razors
>>2985dunno what that is but that's a cute yukari
>>2993I like games thanks for making the games developer man, I think that happens to everyone when they grow up, I'm sure zoomers will be separated from their discord friends in years.
No.2999
>>2985Nah, put it into robowaifus instead. This will be the second largest industry in history
after foodin the end.
No.3003
>>2985>is Raytheon a good investment…idk about aerospace/defense contractors. i think railroads are undervalued atm
>>2999>put it into robowaifus insteadlol, but in all seriousness i wouldn't be surprised if defense contractors end up manufacturing robowaifus
No.3018
My body feels like it's deteriorating rapidly. I find it moderately worrying.
No.3020
>>3018How old are you? Do you take care of it?
I went through the same thing recently but eventually it did stop and I got better.
No.3022
>>3020I'm 19. I'd take care of it if I knew what was going on, but as far as I'm aware it's just a bunch of unrelated problems. I'm no expert, but I spent a lot of the past 4 years studying medicine.
Part of it is probably just from a shitty diet and a complete lack of exercise.
My two biggest issues are what seems to be a swollen lymph node, even though I don't feel sick in the traditional sense, and heart palpitations.
No.3023
>>3018Same. I'm not even 30 yet.
No.3048
I have been drinking for two weeks straight again, been trying to learn math for school but it's not going anywhere. I don't have the patience to sit down and learn this stuff, usually when I do /tech/ I can just drink beer and extend my attention span that way but with math you need to remember the stuff you learned also.
I spent a big sum of my money on AliExpress today. I'm kinda nervous already, don't know how many of the packages have privacy oriented text on them.
I'm little by little starting to give up, it just feels like nothing matters anymore. I should probably go ask for some medicine, I've been trying to fight against it for my whole life and act like everyone else but I'm starting to lose hope.
No.3051
>>3048Fight it, friend. Get help. It only gets worse. Even when you go completely numb and don't feel bad anymore. The price for numbness is also not being able to feel joy and enjoying things. It is literally being a empty husk.
No.3053
>>3037Good job.
>>3022Clearly sounds like you should do some fun cardio. Like dancing around while cooking breakfast and brishing teeth.
No.3054
I'm overwhelmed with the tasks put on me. Whenever I try to brush off all my responsibilities and hobbies, to fix my lifestyle, to eat and sleep properly…people load me with stuff that must be done, without any guidance. That's my life.
No.3062
I want to play fallout 4 I got new mods but I want to limit it.
No.3064
>>1387Halfchan still exists? I figured hiroshimoot should have hocked the servers to the alphabet stasi by now…
No.3065
>>1387>Also the place has been turning into reddit.>beenWait, so we've all suddenly traveled back in time to 2014? Dang, why didn't anyone tell me!?
No.3074
>>3048I'd say just relax and don't unduly pressure yourself. Work hard, but also take time to relax and remember the fun of why you're doing this. Just remember the old adage Rome wasn't built in a day has stood the test of time for a reason.
Keep your nutrition levels up and take regular short breaks at the very least.
No.3075
>>3064Yes. But pokeloli threads are just porn threads and everyone knows it. cuckchan moderation is a shitshow because there's no leadership. It's mods doing whatever their clique wants so one board will ban you for saying friend while another won't.
>>3048Don't ask for anti depressants. I made that mistake and it's fucked me up for life. Literally one of the worst decisions I ever made, possibly the worst.
Beer is a depressant, stop drinking and start figuring out what matters. Focus on their goals instead of all the stuff at once.
No.3077
>>3075>Don't ask for anti depressants. I made that mistake and it's fucked me up for life. Literally one of the worst decisions I ever made, possibly the worst. I went on anti-depressants once when my doctor claimed that the reason I'm chronically fatigued is probably from depression and recommended anti-depressants. I knew enough to stay away from SSRIs, though, and asked for Wellbutrin. It didn't help me at all, but it did have a pleasant aphrodisiac effect. I ended up dropping it due to it being ineffective, but I'm just glad I dodged the SSRI bullet.
No.3095
>>309212 hours a day? Where do you live, friend? Is this even legal? Sounds like hell to me.
No.3098
>>3095Not him, but a friend of mine works 12 hours a day, 6 days a week in the US. Not sure if it is legal or not, but it happens nonetheless.
No.3156
I have a christmas project I'm supposed to be doing, but I'm so tired. I wish I could have known of this a little earlier. It'll probably be the last one I do, too… probably.
No.3157
>>3155Do you even get paid well?
No.3159
>>3155Well at least you get something for the additional hours. Your care for your mother is heartwarming. I hope corona stops soon and you can go back to work 8 hours a day. Hopefully you can save some money too and allow yourself something nice when you have more free time once more. Stay strong, friend.
No.3171
I discovered there's a name for the colors that make me sick. They are called "pastel colors". Even typing that grosses me out. At least now I'm more aware of the sorts of colors I actually like, being darker and more saturated colors. Such colors put me at ease. By surrounding myself with colors I like I can improve my mood and keep my energy high.
No.3173
I went into town today, to go to the park and get some fresh air and exercise. Parks closed, but I bumped into my buddy at a gas station. Maybe today will be more fun that I thought.
No.3175
>>3173No dice, I'm afraid. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
No.3178
>>3172seems like we're in similar situations, may i ask what ur studying? i've seen there's a thread abt motivation i might post in next, i guess since we're all the kind attracted to rather niche imageboards we're all not the overachiever type, so helping each other out might ease things a bit, even if it just means talking abt things we managed (or not) to get the spirits up ^-^ stress can be numbing but ur not alone, even if it might seem like it when we're numbed into our little shells <3
>>3171what's it abt pastels that makes u sick? usually those are soothing colors for most, for me they don't do much but i don't like em much and am more into darker colors as well, but still i'm interested ^-^ also what's ur favourite color? mine r prolly red and black (p standard i kno)
No.3180
>>3171>I discovered there's a name for the colors that make me sick. They are called "pastel colors". Even typing that grosses me out.I used to really hate pastels, and I'm not sure I like them now either.
>At least now I'm more aware of the sorts of colors I actually like, being darker and more saturated colors.I definitely love bright, saturated colors but prefer a more understated look for clothes (although I'd like to try tie dying a shirt sometime). I usually dress in earthy colors and black but hate khaki pants for some reason.
No.3204
Found a job. A painting company. My friend's dad owns the company. I find it entertaining that I'll be doing cheap manual labor under the table for some hispanics as a white dude.
No.3210
Normalfriends are another species. I could write a long post about why that is but nah. I really do try to see what we have in common like that pokemon qoute but its really hard.
On a not so unrelated note I think you either choose between your hobbies and socializing there's no in between, If I choose socializing over my hobbies I feel like I'm losing part of my personality or myself and I despise the feeling of becoming a normalfriend.
They say you can balance the 2 but no, I'm convinced you really can't unless you have friends with the same hobbies and likes as you.
One thing for sure is that I don't want a normie gf that will like me for stupid superficial reasons, that's all.
>>3189very cute image, I honestly don't have any advice but good luck. Just wanted to say it was a cute image, thank you for posting it.
>>3204gz
No.3211
>>3210That filter is cool. I was wondering if I was being too rude.
No.3216
>>3210Thank you, hopefully I can get through this. And yes, the image is very cute, I'm glad I found it
No.3222
>>3210It's even harder if you live in an area where everyone's into drinking, sports, and outdoor hobbies and have no interest in any of those. I've met plenty of people who seem nice, but we don't have enough common interests to form any kind of meaningful relationship.
And although I do my best to be the friendly kind of introvert people always seem to think I am, I really have an angry and hyper-critical personality deep down and am finding it increasingly hard to hide it.
No.3223
i went to get my kitkat that was in the fridge and my imouto was there i didn't find it and said ¨damn they ate it… i wont forgive this¨ like an anime character and she started to laugh. the kitkat was hidden behind the ice
>>3222digits–! yeah i live in a similar area but I've grown to not be so critical of people.
No.3257
Everything hurts. The merest draw of breath sends waves of dull pain through my body. This place is the only light left in all of existence now.
No.3258
>>3257I'm really sorry to hear that Anon. Mind telling us what's wrong with you?
No.3263
>>3258Having crippling depression while facing down a massive economic crisis isn't a good time. Plus, I'm out of shape and I can't seem to hold down a job before the place goes belly-up.
No.3265
>depression while facing down a massive economic crisis
I hear that. I often depend on random side jobs, gigs, and one off commissions to get by comfortably, but everything is sooooooo slow right now. Feeling out of shape too, as the longer this goes on… like, my food budget is even being impacted. Difficult to keep a robust immune system running smoothly when you're running on empty. Sorry to be a downer, but I keep wondering at what point the "shut down and stay six feet apart" thing turns into just "shut down and stay six feet under". I'm probably going to move to another location where people don't have to deal with such regulations to go about their lives. With each passing day, the it's-all-so-tiresome-ness of this situation continues to reach levels that shouldn't even be possible.
No.3266
>>3265It'd be nice to be a part of one of those uncontacted tribes right now.
No.3268
>>3266Yeah,I'd be loving that right about now. Have considered going innawoods for that very reason, though I would be but a tribe of one in such a scenario. A tribe of one with shitty internet access, but a tribe of one none the less.
No.3272
I think big bro might've called me a beta tonight to his friends, I'm not really sad. mostly disappointed that he would say such a thing.
I don't remember well but when we were kids we invited friends to our house to play with our gamecube, one of them said something about me and he defended me, I don't remember what the other kid or my brother said but that happened. I used to insult him in front of them too but I stopped doing it after that.
It became sort of an unwritten rule not to talk sh*t about each other to other people.
But I said ¨might¨ so he probably wasn't talking about me but I'm more inclined to think he was honestly. We get along pretty well btw, we even played Clue (the board game) today. I'm not really bothered by it, I could ask him about it tomorrow but I think that would be petty, I'm not sure why I'm writing this even. I don't usually feel better when I vent online about small things. If I'm having a bad day and somebody asks me hows my day going I tell em that its going great and I usually forget about it. I'd have easily forgot about this too but I decided to write it for some reason. Hope you guys enjoyed reading my blog I guess.
>>3270I'm really sorry to read that anon. I'm wondering what is it about imageboards that make you wish you never found them. for a lot of people its comforting knowing there are more people like you.
Don't fall for the self-harm meme btw, I still think you have some fight in you if you didn't do it.
don't suicide
No.3275
>>3272>I'm wondering what is it about imageboards that make you wish you never found them.The anons on most imageboards just want to bring down to their level this is especially true during the late night threads and what is worse some anons bully you to stay up all night long to shitpost, even going so far into pressuring me to become a coke addict because we need you for "meme magic". The /pol/'s trump and happening threads are a mistake
those threads the anti-synthesis of what /self improvement general/ is suppose to stand for imageboards have too much hypocrisy and opposites one minute you are pushed to better yourself and in the next thread another group of anons want to dig you 6 feet in the ground. there's too much different opinions.
No.3276
>>3275>one minute you are pushed to better yourself and in the next thread another group of anons want to dig you 6 feet in the groundThis is true for relationships outside of imageboards too, it depends on you and the people around you though.
>>3272> for a lot of people its comforting knowing there are more people like youThis often helps, you're not really alone unless you make yourself out to be.
>>3270Okay, so maybe I can help by letting you know what worked for me. Despite me having a bit of an out of the box thinking.. It helps to have faith. That's number one. No matter which way you do it. Sure sometimes you feel like that you're down in the dumps, maybe you're like an empath and others have gotten you down. The key is to think it through and not act rashly. Your mom might not be there forever in the physical, slowly you can free yourself more and more. Thinking and acting positively is key. If you think negatively, don't act on it. This has been one of my greater realizations. Further expanding on that.. (And this is what works for me, maybe it works for you maybe not just figure out what works for you) I found some positive magic of sorts and it really helped. Positive affirmations. You can turn your life around no matter how bleak it may look. As long as you can think and act, the right mindset can get you out of the dump and to where ever you prefer to be
https://anon.cafe/server/res/78.html#q704 I hope this helps someone. You can also look up a bunch of books on here
https://1lib.eu/ if its your thing to read things for self help or about things which might help you out, you could look up things like energy work qi gong or yoga or similar and it can really help if you let yourself explore what works for you. Breathing exercises for sleeping better and keeping calm and so on. When you fix your foundation, then you'll be better able to handle when things don't go quite right, but again its a matter of mindset too.
You can do it anon, you can make it and turn things around for the better. I believe in you
No.3277
>>3275>The /pol/'spol threads can get ugly. no matter what your perspective is, there will not only be the usual trolls trying to bait for lulz, but also shills with other agendas. best practice is to approach pol threads with caution and maintain emotional distance at all times. over the years, i've come to appreciate smol boards w/ smol communities. pic related is screenshot from another board and different context but that op sums it up well
>The anons on most imageboards just want to bring down to their levelthis. this can be the case. for me, posting on smol comfy boards from time to time helps to give perspective. i try to find balance. banter with bi-polar /b/tard schizos for a bit. check in on happenings and debate with /pol/acks for a while. funpost somewhere else now and then. then take a break and chill, do hobbies and work on effort posts and oc. and of course, really take a break, unplug, and do irl stuff.
in general, i've given up on being "happy" all the time but i've also given up on being depressed all the time. somehow realizing that i don't have to be "happy" has made me less depressed. idk if that makes any sense or not. an old fren i hadn't seen for years once asked me, "are you happy now?" and i was like "idk what that even means, but i can say that i'm not too depressed." just trying to stay chill. occupying the middle ground that no one ever seems to acknowledge. again, idk if that makes any sense or not to others.
having blogposted all that, i wish you well anon and hope that you can find a good balance with all things in your life.
No.3278
>>3276also what this friend had to say.
>things like energy work qi gong or yoga>Breathing exercises for sleeping better and keeping calm and so onsuch an approach has also helped me to find balance. to find that elusive middle ground.
>Despite me having a bit of an out of the box thinkingi think you thinking is spot on, out-of-the-box fren
No.3331
>>3329Don't become discouraged Anon due to impatience. The key to success is almost always:
Just don't quit. You can make it.
>>3328Same goes for you too Anon.
Same goes for us all! No.3344
>>3339stupid things are hard to do! i tried to assemble my shotgun today and couldn't get the barrel in properly, i'm not evn sure it's the right barrel! i had enough time to think: this is dumb. just a few minutes later i was havin fun playin games w a friend.
things are still tough, but i still smiled today. so, to other friends who have it tough, it's worth stickin around!
No.3375
today is beginning to resemble many other days! I thought with the end of stressful responsibilities, things would be better. but alas, I'm just left alone and unhurried, with no escape from my thoughts.
came to a conclusion today. I'd call it 'harrowing' but it's left me with more of an inseparable dull feeling. I used to be proud of the things that were there only because of me- friend groups, certain relationships between people I know, inside jokes, etc. as I've receded from everything in various ways recently, they've disappeared, affirming my uncertain belief in their dependence on me in the worst way. too many scruples, too much guilt, too much shame- I can't begin or sustain things anymore. then the conclusion- these things just quietly disappear without me. they were only sustained by the gravity of my persistence; they were not reciprocated to any degree great enough to continue on when I can't push them further. these things will just quietly disappear with me.
isn't that just terrible? that's all I can think of to describe it.
No.3391
>>3387My condolences. I think I would react the same, I do have a rough relation to my father but I know he only works so hard because of my mother and me. Usually families get stronger and closer after something like that, I hope this will be the case for you too.
No.3394
>>3387FMy condolences to you Anon. I lost my father already too. I'll be praying for you, God bless you.
No.3396
>>3387I'm sorry to hear that mate. I initially felt that way for a couple of hours after my mum died. I know it won't sound like a particularly useful thing to hear, but you just have to keep on going. I hope to see you in this thread to continue talking about it if you're up for it, if not then that's fine, don't force yourself.
No.3399
>>3387I felt the same when my grandpa died, in some ways he done more with me then what my father could have done.
No.3457
I had some pretty un/kind/ thoughts today. I'd like to think I'm an easy going person, but I have my sore points. Remember friends, if someone or something is irritating you, just find a way to take a break from the situation.
No.3466
The few places on the web where the last vestiges of my internet friends from the late 00s remain are slowly being shut down. Real life isn't any better - the one friend who I thought would stick with me is now an unlikeable, passive-aggressive dipshit that constantly bitches about me, but I'm somehow not allowed to get irritated in turn.
I'm supposed to be enjoying some time off at the end of the year, but I don't even have that now.
I have nothing now.
No.3481
I've been watching a lot of anime for the past week or so. Mostly watching stuff that I've ignored because I'm usually super picky. I never really realized how edgy anime was in the past in comparison to a lot of recent stuff. I'm really enjoying it all, as it feels really fresh and cool to me.
No.3482
>>3481mid-2000's edgy anime is the best
No.3500
>>3490Being around people taught me to appreciate being alone in peace and quiet.
Now being with people is the pain and being alone is comfort.
No.3553
What's everyone's new year resolution? Mine is quitting caffeine.
No.3554
>>3553I'm going to read the bible from cover to cover and start working out again.
Why are you quitting caffeine? I drink a lot of it maybe I should quit too.
No.3556
>>3554Because it's a habit that can be lived without. I don't want to rely on any sorts of products that are not good for my body. I quit alcohol last year and now I'm coming for that sweet, sweet Red Bull.
No.3572
>>3272Pathetic. If a family member talked shit about me I would cut them off. I actually cut one person off.
No.3576
>>3573I want to play boardgames…
This year I'm spending it with friends again, but it won't be much fun for me because just sitting around talking to people I can't relate to is super boring.
No.3611
>>3331Thanks alot, Anon. A few days ago I had a Professor and a TA who agreed to write me one and today I had another one who agreed to as well. OK, That's one obstacle (hopefully) taken care of to make my study abroad dream come true!
No.3625
Here I am, really late in the night. I've just come to say that it doesn't matter how you perform in whatever category. It doesn't matter if you're extremely talented if you don't put in any effort. A lot of people like to try and make an excuse for their shortcomings, that they just have no talent. As someone who competed in something banking purely on talent, it'll only take you so far. So don't let yourself give up, just because you aren't "talented". Anyone can get good at something, it just takes practice. Nothing comes entirely naturally.
No.3632
>>3553I'm gonna try to learn how to draw using /loomis/ and read more books. I'm also trying to learn IT and programming too, along with some math and Japanese. Staying /fit/ is a priority of mine also.
>>3500^^This right here. When I was still in highschool and middle school, I used to cry a lot because I had no friends around my age, nor was I really around anybody. However, when I started being around people more, I suddenly realized how much I loved being alone and introvert. Now being alone doesn't bother me anymore.
>>3554I'm also doing a daily reading of the Bible. I wanna work out too, but I live in a house with a bunch of family members, so that restricts me a bit. My mom is paranoid of COVID so she threatened to kick me out if I try to workout at the gym.
No.3636
>>3632>kick me out if I try to workout at the gymNo one can take calisthenics from you.
You'd be amazed how far they can take you.
No.3638
>>3630I am surprised he reacts as humble as he did in your message. Hasn't he been streaming for almost a decade? I'd imagine he'd get so many gifts.
What did you get him? I hope he'll play it.
No.3640
>>3638Well, the game I gifted him is one of the least /kind/ games to exist, it was Lisa: The Painful.
I thought that since he loved the mother series, and liked Space Funeral, Hylics and Off, he would probably dig that game. There's a chance he doesn't since it's pretty dark though, another one of the streamers only played it once and never again.
>I am surprised he reacts as humble as he did in your message. Me too, I believe that he feels I'm pressuring him to play the game, I just want him to have it. He also streams a lot of stuff and can't really satisfy everyone, I can't force him to do stuff he doesn't want to.
No.3646
Yesterday I went to the city to do some errands, after I finished I decided to walk around. I had fun, despite getting lost for a bit.
I found a comic shop I didn't know of before and I remembered that I never bought the last volume of a manga I was reading due to the lockdown. They had a lot of manga, but not the one I was looking for. But I found they had Aria, a manga I honestly thought it would never be released in my country, so on an impulse I tried to buy it, but it was rather expensive for a rather old manga since it was imported, and I was a bit short on cash. I followed the advice of the shop clerk of not buying Aria and look for the other manga in another shop, that I shouldn't worry about Aria since I was the only person that showed interest on it. Figures.
Anyway, in the end I found the manga I was looking for.
And today I watched Umamusume S2. It was pretty good.
It feels nice to blogpost about something that's not about my anxieties or troubles.
No.3648
>>3646I hope you can buy it as soon as possible, friend. Aria is the ultimate kindness.
No.3649
>>3646>AriaThanks I didn't know about that, I'd probably like it.
No.3685
>>3676Why German? That language is hell.
No.3689
>>3676At some point I'd like to actually learn German properly. I took like four years of it in school and ended up plateauing in the second or third year.
>>3685The gender and case stuff make it hard for me.
No.3702
this board is stinky…
No.3705
>>3702That's you, please take a shower.
No.3851
>>3847I have several hard drives for files but am thinking about moving my media off my computer. In the current political climate, I'm really paranoid now about Microsoft snooping around on my system and finding "problematic" content or otherwise sticking their noses where they don't belong. I'm considering going back to Linux, even though it didn't work out for me last time I tried using it full-time.
I'm also going to get a massive hard drive and try to torrent the crap out of everything I can find that seems even slightly appealing to me while I know I still can.
No.3854
Before the pandemic lockdown, I've scouted my town for some comfy quiet places where I can temporarily escape my family. Today I decided to revisit those places. It's sad to see many of them have closed down.
>>3851Set up a Linux file server and put all your files and/or torrents there.
No.3909
Enjoying a rainy night.
No.3916
>>3851Just encrypt that seperate harddrive. I recommend Veracrypt. If it's huge it might take a while though but that's normal.
No.4118
I'm moving soon, so I have to clean my messy room, but fuck me, I just can't bring myself to do it. Too many ways to distract myself.
No.4119
I just jumped into a genealogy rabbit hole and have been preoccupied with something. I have a last name that's atypical for my ethnic background, and it's one of my female ancestors who has a document with a place of birth and language listed that are more in line with my surname (and ironically her maiden name isn't). The ancestors I've been looking into sometimes have two or even three countries of birth listed across various documents.
I also wasted some time tracing some ancestry all the way back to British nobility and even the days of the Saxons. Pretty much everyone with British ancestry can too as far as I can tell, but it might be worth a try if that applies to you and you have some time to waste. It's kind of fun.
>>4115I mostly just read non-fiction but still don't read as much as I should.
No.4120
>>4119I did it for a school project. I'm your average american German-Irish mutt. Makes things difficult to trace back far, so I just assume I'm a commoner to the bone. Part of the project was to tell an interesting story of one of your ancestors. Easy for me because my great-grandma was in the BDM toward the end of WW2, which pretty much decided her life in a broad sense. I think it's interesting think about how your family came to be, and the events surrounding that.
No.4122
>>4120>I did it for a school project. I'm your average american German-Irish mutt.I largely am too, but some of mine are actually Scots-Irish. For hundreds of years it seems like everyone I saw in that part of my ancestry was a Scot (whether commoners or not), and then after a while you start to see famous English names start to appear. That includes some of the kings of England. I'm not sure how well that would work for the Irish given the geographic separation or how much intermarrying there was with Great Britain going on though.
But the parts of my ancestry that I'm more interested in seem to cut off in the 18th (or even 19th) century.
>Easy for me because my great-grandma was in the BDM toward the end of WW2, which pretty much decided her life in a broad sense.That's interesting. So she was a recent immigrant, I take it?
No.4124
>>4122I suppose if you could, you'd be able to trace most people of similar genetic backgrounds to a few families.
>So she was a recent immigrant, I take it?Yeah, she married my Great-grandad, stationed in the area she was living in. They moved to the US in the early 50's. Most of my family immigrated in the 20th century though.
No.4171
>>4124>I suppose if you could, you'd be able to trace most people of similar genetic backgrounds to a few families.That's true. people used to frequently marry people from their area with similar ethnic and religious backgrounds, and the much lower populations and difficulty of traveling long distances meant that beggars couldn't be choosers when it comes to finding a marriage partner. I think I've seen a few duplicate ancestors on one part of my family tree.
I've read that every white person is ultimately descended from Charlemagne. That seems like a bit of an exaggeration to me, but I'm sure a ton are from the mathematics of it and also what I experience digging around.
>Yeah, she married my Great-grandad, stationed in the area she was living in. They moved to the US in the early 50's. Most of my family immigrated in the 20th century though.I met an old lady with a similar background a few times. She had a lot of interesting stories to tell with all the crap her and family went through during the War. She didn't feel comfortable talking about it with most people because she said they wouldn't understand what she actually went through.
As an update, I seem to have tracked down a guy who shares the exact same name as my grandfather's grandfather (when correcting for the first name potentially being Anglicized, at least) but was born roughly fifty years earlier. That's the only document I could find with someone who shares my last name in a national archive site, and even then I can't find his name on the document due to the language barrier and the handwriting used. If he is an ancestor, that leads me to believe that my grandfather's family actually had some Slavic ancestry that he didn't seem to know about. Assuming that's true, I'd like to know how recent it is. I read that the two groups stayed pretty segregated. Other than in the region the document looks like it's from, that is (I say "looks like" because the region the document is from seems to match up but the city of birth seems to be in a completely different region from what I can tell), which incidentally happens to be the same area where my surname supposedly comes from.
No.4172
>>4171>someone who shares my last name in a national archive siteAnd looks like they could reasonably be an ancestor, I mean.
No.4173
>>4171>beggars couldn't be choosers when it comes to finding a marriage partner.Mhm. It's very apparent if you've lived and have been part of the community in a rural area. Most people are related, and some last names are very common in the area. It's something that I noticed after moving from a rapidly growing area. I wonder how homogenized things were 50 years ago…
>She didn't feel comfortable talking about it with most people because she said they wouldn't understand what she went through.Same for my great-grandma. I didn't really have the chance to ask about it because she died while I was still really young, but my dad and my sister said she'd never talk about it. Honestly, I probably know more than them, just because I made the proper connections to infer what happened. My understanding of it is pretty interesting. She originally lived in a small town in Thuringia, which would end up part of east Germany. However, the BDM was based in Bamberg, in Bavaria, which was US territory.
That guy was probably a cousin or something. They probably had some ancestor in common and were both named after them. Just a guess on my part, but that seems like it would make the most sense.
No.4175
>>4173>Mhm. It's very apparent if you've lived and have been part of the community in a rural area. Most people are related, and some last names are very common in the area. It's something that I noticed after moving from a rapidly growing area. I wonder how homogenized things were 50 years ago…True. I went to a nearby town with some family members that has familial connections and noticed how many houses they pointed out belong to a family member or did at some point. There must have been like 8-10 of them, along with a road named after them. That's a lot for a tiny place out in the boondocks.
>Same for my great-grandma. I didn't really have the chance to ask about it because she died while I was still really young, but my dad and my sister said she'd never talk about it. Honestly, I probably know more than them, just because I made the proper connections to infer what happened. My understanding of it is pretty interesting. She originally lived in a small town in Thuringia, which would end up part of east Germany. However, the BDM was based in Bamberg, in Bavaria, which was US territory.It's too bad you didn't get to know her more. I kind of wish I'd gotten to know this old lady better before she died. She seemed relieved to have another person in her life who could understand what she was talking about. I don't even know how much her own kids cared. There are a lot of old people out there with interesting stories that deserve to have them heard. It makes me feel bad that I'm not a sociable person.
One thing all this has taught me is how sloppy record keeping was in the past, even when they were trying to be thorough. When old people die out, there's a lot that goes to the grave with them. My grandpa just said that he was German and his family members came from Bohemia and Austria, and that seemed to be all he knew. Other than what I've been doing now, I've confirmed some additional Germanic ancestry elsewhere that I don't think he was privy to. But even with all the documentation that FamilySearch has, it can take some deep digging to get solid, non-conflicting information on pretty basic facts for a lot of people from the past.
>That guy was probably a cousin or something. They probably had some ancestor in common and were both named after them. Just a guess on my part, but that seems like it would make the most sense.Could be. I was thinking maybe he was the grandfather of the ancestor in question considering how young people tended to be when they had kids back then.
No.4189
>>4188100% of anime is bad and that's why I like it
No.4190
>>4188The only good anime is
No.4195
>>4194why do you hate us?
No.4228
>>4206>I think my mate bailed on hanging out againThat feel when Im'm just doing exactly that to a friend of mine right now. But I just can't take being friends with someone. I'm so sorry we ever met and putting them through what you feel right now.
No.4249
>>4228Pull off the bandaid, don't just lead them on with false friendship, that's cruel. If they're anything like me then they're wondering what they're doing wrong that causes you to constantly bail. I just wish he'd tell me outright he won't be able to hang out instead of me figuring it out after it's been hours on end without a single word from him.
No.4254
>>4252I feel you. At least we have this kind place.
>>4253What do you plan to do, kind friend?
No.4272
>>4254I'll be myself so people can see for who I am.
No.4282
>>4273Here is a tip: Get the other person to do most of the talking. You can do that by repeating their last few words or forming a question out of it. It's very easy once you get the hang, just make sure you don't do it by rote or you look like a parrot.
No.4284
>>4283You're small fry child, I've seen countless dead animals
No.4286
>>4283At least it died inside in the warm.
No.4308
>>4305Please tell me you mean topographically. Pleas.e
No.4309
I picked up Genki to learn Japanese. Actually, I'm already learning Japanese as a hobby, and I've been doing it for a few years ago. But lately I've been feeling "stuck", as in I was feeling like I wasn't improving despite reading some 4koma and dialogue from Japanese gacha games.
Maybe going over from the basics will help me improve.
No.4310
>>4308Er, no. Just that there is a lodge close
No.4312
>>4311What do you want a 3DS for?
No.4313
>>4312I want to see the tits
IN 3DNah I just want to play some RPGs and emulate old games with actual buttons instead of just a phone. No.4315
I just want to feel the burning fire of life bros
No.4318
>>4311Buy a used one - brick it - buy another one - manage to not brick it — get a new one from the stock.
No.4319
>>4313Ah, I get that. Phones are a pain because of the lack of physical buttons. On the odd chance I use mine, I fuck up inputs constantly.
I'd use a vita instead though. It did what I wanted it to well (PS1 and PSP).
No.4327
>>4323I was lucky and had one sitting around untouched for years.
No.4352
Hometown's been iced over these past two days. Slipped and fell three times this morning just trying to walk from my car to my workplace, and on the third time I nearly busted my head on the pavement. Whole thing left me feeling dizzy all day.
No.4357
>>4323The 3ds is my favorite console. If you add in the DS library you will have enough games for decades. Some of the best RPGs are on there: Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey and Etrian Odyssey.
No.4365
>>4352Things are so cold I don't even want to go and get gas and risk getting frostbite.
No.4381
>>4252I feel you too. I just started using imageboards regularly in 2019. Back then, I didn't spend too much on the internet bc I didn't have own PC and I also thought affect negatively my life if I spend too much time there
(TBH, I think I was almost right back then). My life was like that until I started studying in the uni in 2017, bc of that, I was given a laptop for my uni studies and activites; of course, I mostly use it for other stuff. I have social networks but I always barely used them, now much less, they bore me AF and I feel like I don't fit in them. That's why I started using IBs though I also feel like I don't feel like I don't fit in them too.
No.4382
>>4381What makes imageboards "good" is the fact that you don't need to fit in. There's nothing to be gained from it, besides some anonymous strangers giving their approval, which to me is totally worthless. I could care less what some brazilian weirdo thinks of what I posted.
Don't stoop down to other people's level, it's a good thing to strike a balance between normal and weird.
No.4384
>>4383>make friendships on the internetThere's your problem. Internet friends are missing that personal contact and don't have a lot of things you can do together. There's nothing wrong with having internet friends, but nothing can replace having a buddy to do stuff with, even something small like grabbing some food.
No.4385
>>4384Still though, I find it baffling how some people have their best friends from the internet. Making IRL friends now would just be flat out impossible for me, hate how people have it so easy.
No.4387
>>4385Not sure what to tell you. Keep at it, maybe you'll find someone. I think it's mostly a matter of luck though. There's nothing wrong with having a lack of friends if you can learn to enjoy your own company. Just be sure to go outside and do things from time to time, rather than be a shut-in, otherwise your mental health will deteriorate.
No.4389
>>4383You should find a hobby space and try there. You'll immediately have a thing to bond over. Maybe with roleplaying games, Dungeons & Dragons? One regularly meets and chats and connects.
No.4392
>>4383I encourage you to try Tagmap.io
No.4394
>>4392Not that anon but I tried this, hardly found anyone nearby and I was not interested to put it lightly. I was hoping to make friends last year, but alas, it was 2020.
No.4395
>>4383Why would you want to leave kind? I can understand why somebody would want to leave 4chan, twitter etc but something like kind?
>>4387Good post, can confirm that.
No.4422
>>4421Let me know if you decide to, and I'll do it with you, not that I need it. I just need to appreciate the food I have more.
No.4428
>good news
My 3ds just arrived! It's been 10 years since I played on a console
>bad news
I had to buy the battery carger separately, and the Z buttons seem very flimsy…
No.4439
I'm looking into buying a fancy chair for active sitting. I'm in pretty good shape, but I'm not very physically active at all in my free time and think I have a weak core. I don't care if it's expensive as long as it helps.
No.4442
I need to stop being lazy but I don't know how!!!