No.1789
>>1788I’m hoping people will be kind and not try to start screaming like little babies wailing for their mother’s milk.
No.1793
Right now, my biggest issue is a lack of motivation. I graduated from high school last year, but I completely failed at preparing for college, so that seems out of the question for now.
Don't get me wrong, I want to move out and sort of have my own life, but for now, there's not much pushing me to do so.
The next logical step would be to get a job, but I don't know what sort of job to look for. I'm thinking of getting a job as a janitor again, since it's pretty easy work and I get a good amount of autonomy. I just don't want to be a janitor somewhere with a lot of traffic.
No.1794
>>1788>rants are inherently un/kind/I have no problems and nothing is bothering me at the moment! I want to be able to write a rant in this comfy rant thread, but I don't have anything to rant about! I want to participate, but there isn't a thing getting on my nerves! Nada! Zilch! Nothing! Sure, others have the luxury of being bothered by stuff, but not me! I could complain, but who would listen? Here, read this list of my complaints. What? What's the matter? You've never seen a blank piece of paper before? Fine then, just crumple it up and throw it on the ground because I don't need it! Oh, I see you recycled it. Great! Way to go! The least you could have done was to have thrown it on the ground and littered, then I would have had something to be indignant about. Nope, not me. No reason to get my panties in a twist. I'm not even wearing any underwear! Couldn't get my panties in a twist if I tried. I'm just sitting here, staring straight ahead. The wind is blowing. The birds are chirping. Lovely birdsong. Look, there's a squirrel. He aint bothering anybody or anything! Nope, no complaints. Everythings copacetic. Just embracing the felt presence of the immediate moment and everything feels fine. Maybe I should be upset up some abstract ideological concern. Nah, can't do that. I don't have any ideology! I just have this moment. This pure clean and clear rant free moment.
No.1795
>>1794(continued)
Vent? Let it out? How do you deflate an empty balloon? Explain that to me. Pop that balloon if you can! I'm not swole up and about to pop off. I feel all calm and tranquil and peaceful despite the fact that I know someone somewhere is probably typing up a storm, pausing only to rub their hands together like a super villain would, because they're about to give it to 'em. They're about to type up a rant! They're about to type up a rant that will rant all over this rant forsaken world! Me, I haven't a clue. I'm completely empty headed and empty handed! Sitting here blankly staring at nothing going on. Nothing wrong! Looking here and looking there for problems. Look, there's that squirrel again. He's not empty handed! He found himself a little snack. I bet he could rant about how hard that nut is to crack! Must be nice for that squirrel. Foraging for a rant and he found one! The birds are still singing too. Not that obnoxious squawking that they sometimes do, but making pleasant sounds for a change. Is that how they rant? They just squeak and squawk and sing songs about how bad birds got it? They don't know the half of it, those birds. They don't how good they've got it. One of them is even doing that funny little head thing. Being all cute and care free! Well, good for them! Ranting away with their bird rants and looking comfy doing it. Wish I could be looking that comfy posting some rant in a comfy rant thread!
No.1800
>>1787The Trump phenomenon is just due to ordinary people getting tired of being pushed around and hitting back against people who hate their guts. You can't play nice with people who want you gone. Trump (and his average supporter) also has nothing to do with the far right. He's basically a '90s Democrat.
No.1804
>>1800It’s just both sides started screaming more and more as he got into power. The left started wailing, then the right, the left wailed louder and louder, and the right continued like it.
No.1833
I don't think think it's very kind that it's entirely in character for DJT to have said people who gave up their lives for their country are "suckers" and "losers." He's done much to lower the level of public discourse - civilized language is just tone policing after all.
No.1842
>>1833According to unnamed sources he did, anyway.
No.1847
>>1842Regardless, he's said the same thing in regards to John McCain for being a POW. Even if the sources are questionable, it's not at all surprising to assume he did say as much.
No.1862
I need to go shower but I don't feel like doing anything. Oh well. Bye bye friends
No.1866
>>1856That there is a good artist you posted.
No.3714
>>1787I think I'm gonna fail some of my classes. I used to be a good student, and so I was able to get into a good school with hard classes, but now I'm out of my depth and I don't know what to do. I need to ask for help, but I've had problems with doing that since I was a little kid. I used to be able to just put my nose to the grindstone and work, but I'm finding it harder and harder to do that, and I don't know why. I can still do well if a class is interesting, but so many of them are just boring or confusing, and I just don't know what to do. I was always "the smart kid" in my family, and I don't want to disappoint my parents, but I think I'm going to end up a failure.
No.3720
>>3714I think you really need to fully appreciate how dire the situation is. I'm not so different from you, and I've always avoided getting help when I could. However this time, if you think you're going to fail, you're going to fail. Get help before that point.
Goddamn it anon, make the most of this opportunity because some people didn't have it. Do it for us.
No.3721
>>3714As a failure six years removed from this situation, you need to act fast. Go to the counseling office/mental health center immediately. At the very least, you'll have the equivalent of a doctor's note.
No.3758
I had high hopes for life, I'm very disappointed. I was and have always pretty much been seen as intelligent in my life, but now I'm chronically ill with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and really the only thing that can make me happy is a sizeable amount of money to buy a place where I don't have to pay rent and can live off-grid in peace and quiet, and in this way the first prevents the last unless of course I try every single irregular way of making money possible until I finally get it right, because If I want what I want in life I know I'll have to find the energy and motivation despite my problems to do this. Most of my family are also ego scum so they wish to not understand this and so I don't care about them, they tire me.
I really don't like to talk about being sick, I don't like talking about these personal details, and I don't like sick people and I really hate all of this. I try to just pretend like nothing while having some respect for my disease.
I'm tired all the time and hate life, how could I not. The trash I have demotivates me and disables me. The only things that make it livable is my musical and other varied interests and the fact that I have plenty of time and things to derive enjoyment from.
I also like people, but I've found out I don't actually care about most people at all because I know how it is having a deeper connection to someone. And really, nothing can replace that to me, there have been many times where other people may connect with me but I do not at all since, I guess, my personality is a rare polarity to top it off, this has but not to my wishes hurted quite a few people because I simply don't reciprocate. So I have to search hard for new people IRL i actually connect with but again I do not really have the energy and so the drive to do so.
To make things worse I quite enjoy being alone. And I'm not depressed either because I know how that feels like, what I'm feeling is simply a direct rational consequence of the circumstances, It's difficult.
Always remember, in your dealings don't let anything or anyone fuck you over, because it really concerns your overall mental but especially physical health friends, do not forget this can be permanent, stress yourself too hard you may get fucked up for life so act fast, the faster you act the faster you're out of the danger zone. Sometimes however you, maybe like myself, may not appear to have had a choice in the matter. But invariably likely the chance is higher of dodging any of these bullet would have had you acted quicker.
Things are really a fight.
No.3764
>>3714You need to learn how to be truly productive and teach yourself how to properly study. Easier said than done, I know. But, if you truly want to better yourself, it's the only solution. Try some of Cal Newport's books, if you want to improve on your habits.
>>3758Can't you get on disability and live in section-8/income housing?
Also, it sounds like you're having a terrible time. I suffered with a chronic illness in the past, and I was tired all of the time, but it was different from Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. Despite that, I can empathize with you just a bit. My family was also giving me a hard time with my illness, because physically, it didn't look like I was sick.
>Always remember, in your dealings don't let anything or anyone fuck you over, because it really concerns your overall mental but especially physical health friends, do not forget this can be permanent, stress yourself too hard you may get fucked up for life so act fast, the faster you act the faster you're out of the danger zone.Did somebody hurt you in your life? Or was it multiple people?
I havew this exact same mentality. A toxic environment growing up really causes a strain on your worldview.
No.3774
>>3758>I had high hopes for life, I'm very disappointed. I was and have always pretty much been seen as intelligent in my life, but now I'm chronically ill with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and really the only thing that can make me happy is a sizeable amount of money to buy a place where I don't have to pay rent and can live off-grid in peace and quiet, and in this way the first prevents the last unless of course I try every single irregular way of making money possible until I finally get it right, because If I want what I want in life I know I'll have to find the energy and motivation despite my problems to do this.I can relate. I don't know if the condition I'm dealing with is actually chronic fatigue or not, but I've long suspected it could be. I'm approaching ten years in the workforce, but I still haven't started working full-time yet since I'm constantly exhausted. I only recently learned to drive. It's really going to suck having to work more than I do now just to make ends meet.
I've dabbled with stay-at-home jobs over the years, but I've found no success on that front.
>I also like people, but I've found out I don't actually care about most people at all because I know how it is having a deeper connection to someone. And really, nothing can replace that to me, there have been many times where other people may connect with me but I do not at all since, I guess, my personality is a rare polarity to top it off, this has but not to my wishes hurted quite a few people because I simply don't reciprocate. So I have to search hard for new people IRL i actually connect with but again I do not really have the energy and so the drive to do so.Yeah. I run into a lot of friendly people, but there are very few I feel like I have much in common with. I only like spending time with my family anymore.
It's like there's a brick wall between me and everyone else, and I really dislike feeling this isolated. I feel like even if I were more normal that I couldn't get close enough to people. I hate being trapped in a prison of subjectivity and wish I could feel exactly what other people felt and see the world through their eyes.
>To make things worse I quite enjoy being alone.Same here.
No.3778
>>3758This almost sounds like I could've written this.
>To make things worse I quite enjoy being alone.Really, I hate being alone, but people are such a disappointment; I think having them around makes me more miserable than not.
No.3801
hate politics and politicnorms they ruin everything they touch from both sides including kind
No.3828
>>3820Try adding them again. Get their side of the story and explain yourself. Apologize if you were actually in the wrong.
No.3922
I hate people wanting conversations. Just leave me alone, I have nothing to say.
No.3961
>>3959If nobody else is willing to DM, I don't think they can complain. If they come back, that's what matters. I think you just have to get comfortable with the role, so you can loosen up. If you do that, it'll be easier to improvise.
No.3965
No fighting.
No.3968
>>3915People are dangerously naive if they trust corporations, but I think you're overreacting.
No.3977
I recently had a conversation with a friend concerning the internet, and it's really made it more jarring just how dead it feels. Everything is so samey, probably because most people use multiple sites, so everything is really intertwined. For example when I was in school last year, there was this guy I had class with, and it was impossible to tell if he was a redditor or an anon on whatever site (probably both). Either way, he gave me second-hand embarrassment because he was a typical 2016 kiddie in early 2020 and it was clear to me, a person he didn't know much about at all. That's beside the point, though. What I want to say is the lack of variety is really starting to get to me.
No.3984
I no longer feel comfortable in my favorite IB in my native language. It has become into a circlejerk of the most pretentiousfriends, pseudointelectuals and privacy-obsessed schizos. However, this IB is one of that have the least cancer compared to other IBs in my native language so that's why I'm still lurking it but not like before. It used to pretty comfy and almost everyone there treated ourselves as friends a year ago. It's a shame. Now I feel like I can confirm that I don't like any IB in my native language. I dunno where to go ;_;!
No.3991
>>3984>I dunno where to go ;_;!Well you could try to be the future you imagine and begin your own IB Anon.
No.3994
>>3977>Everything is so sameyi forget the exact numbers, but early internet in the 90s was like %70 independent sites that individuals would spin up themselves and %30 corporate/govt/institution platforms. now, it is more like %70 corporate/govt/institution platforms and %30 individual sites. i think also that you can notice this in that the list of the most heavily trafficked sites is shrinking. this must have a lot to do with the sameyness of things. it's important to try and start
your own thing or at least support indie sites like kind and encourage others to do so. try and get others to bust out of the algorithm echo chambers and support projects and platforms that search engines and advertising interests don't want to highlight because they can't easily monetize and sanitize them.
>it was impossible to tell if he was a redditor or an anonlol. can relate. have met a few in irl that have made subculture meme jokes and i would get excited thinking, "I'VE JUST MET ANOTHER ANON IRL!" but it would always turn out that their knowledge of this scene of ours was limited to whatever anon culture had run it's course and died on facebook, twitter, tumblr, etc. disappointing.
No.3995
>>3994Yeah, generally I prefer small sites like /kind/, but most IBs seem too deeply ingrained in the big two, and only spawned because some guy didn't like a particular thing about whatever, so it's the same as before; this time with one or two different qualities and much slower traffic. Compare that to /kind/ which does something unique in comparison.
I'd rather keep anons anons. I feel like once that becomes a known thing, the person will just start being an annoying friendgot to put it bluntly. It's fine if that's not the case, but friends and imageboards serve different purposes for me.
No.3996
>>3977>>3994I don't think a genuine anon really should wear his nature on his sleeve. I think if someone tries to bring internet subculture into decorum outside their cultural borders, that marks them as a redditor since they are more often than not seeking some form of acknowledgement and social engagement from others. You should never even know you had encountered an anon if he truly takes his anonymity seriously.
No.3997
>>3996You hit the nail on the head. Good post.
No.4112
>>1942Your getting a job would probably help your family. If you don't know how, just look up job openings in your area. There's bound to be something, somewhere. If you're serious about helping your family, you might need to get a sucky job.
No.4125
I wonder if a foreigner can ever become a mangaka. With authors having Non-Japanese names (CLAMP, ONE) I thinks its possible. Especially if one can have a direct contact wit a mangaka by scanlating their work, its possible to get published by recommendation. There are ways yet here I am since I cant draw jack. I think thats what I am sad about. The fact that I have had this goal for awhile now but haven't put any effort on realizing it. Thinking about it, I feel like avoiding it all together and just go back to a deceptively comfy auto pilot mode.
No.4133
Fell back into the /neet/ lifestyle.
No.4140
>>4138Next time just tell them as much. I wouldn't hesitate to call it quits if I got tired. Call it selfish, but I think if one person isn't having fun, it'll be less fun for everyone else.
No.4158
I did a bad thing about a week ago. I won't go into too much detail, mostly because I have nothing to gain from doing so. I'm just so irritated. What I did would land me a decent bit of jail time, even if it didn't cause any significant harm and was an complete accident. Compare that to a local kid. Manages to kill two people with his vehicle and gets off with a slap on the wrist.
What gives?
No.4556
>>4158I had a similar feeling a couple of years ago. And, in my case, the worst part is the fact that I will live with it for the rest of my life wondering whenever will they come to catch me.
No.4607
>>4601I worked as a Janitor for a while at
walmart. It wasn't as bad as you would think. The only particularly bad part was the women's restroom. Now that was a struggle.
No.4610
>>4601>I have always been sympathetic towards janitorsThere's a sentence you don't often see on an image board.
No.4659
I know I'll sound extremely autistic for saying this, but it has been weighing on my mind for way too long. I want to make a Sonic fanfiction. You read that correctly, a Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction. A crazy, epic one where Sonic along with EMIYA, Jack Frost from Shin Megami Tensei, a self-insert OC (human) and a few other characters go on an adventure in a post-apocalyptic hellhole in an effort to finally make their individual dreams come true. Each one, broken by their tragic pasts, stops at nothing for that golden opportunity, even if it means betraying their allies.
The sheer amount of content my mind has come up with for this hypothetical story is mindboggling, with the story being split into three distinct and lengthy story-arcs, each with their own main character and primary focus (part 1: deception, part 2: grief, part 3: courage). There are various different factions constantly evolving and doing battle with each other. There's also a Umineko-esque Metaworld where a smug oppai loli witch drinks tea, speaks directly to the reader and occasionally hosts visitors from other universes. The story is completely without any self-awareness, as characters use words like "autistic" and "based" and seemingly important ones get violently murdered out of nowhere.
Such a creation would surely kill me from the embarrassment of having me create it, so why does my mind yearn for it so much? Is it because I have never accomplished anything in this entire lifetime, and subconsciously desire to accomplish something with my one and only talent (being autistic)? My conscious mind is quite thankful that I've never wrote the whole thing down, nor have I given into the desire to find a place online to host it. This is a battle of the subconscious mind that seeks to destroy and the conscious mind that seeks to maintain the status quo, just like the two separate characters named Alice Margatroid in the fanfiction, who lead drastically different lives despite being born of the same "thought energy".
The worst part of all of this is that I secretly wish not to type out a text-based fanfiction but to make it a WEBCOMIC, meaning that I'll have to draw everything in MS Paint, potentially drawing more attention to such an abomination.
I haven't even liked Sonic since I was 12 years old
No.4661
>>4659the plotline seems like something that would come from a danganronpa title. everything else seems pretty eh, but your idea of making a ms paint webcomic seems interesting.
maybe pic related will give you some ideas?
No.4662
>>4607In my experience, even bathrooms aren't usually that bad. I'm sure it all depends on the place though.
No.4666
>>4662No, they usually aren't, but you run into issues a lot. Especially at the store I was working at. It was really old, so there were all kinds of issues with the bathrooms. Really nasty stuff is rare though, but it certainly happens.
No.4684
>>4681>schizophrenic>sleep depraved>town practises animal sacrifice and black magic>had to cross over some dead animals to get an energy drink>violent thoughts normally come after witnessing this>start suspecting that every carton box and every plastic bag holds animals sacrifisedLet me to guess, third world?
No.4685
Isn't a problem exactly, I'm not sad for that, but I want to tell it someone. Recently, I've into on online class, by Zoom. I so hate the fucking online class, are insufficient, bullshit, uncomfortable, tedious, etc… The previous year I ignored that shit, And it wasn't so bad for me. So, in this year, I will "study", probably I will be the first on the class. Is so fucking easy to pass the exams
No.4686
>>4685Are you unsatisfied?
No.4689
>>4687Where are you from, my friend?
No.4696
>>4607>The only particularly bad part was the women's restroom. Now that was a struggle.You don't have to clean the parking lot? Picking up trash outside is dangerous because nobody in parking lot sees you and people drive way too fast in the parking lot. Hosing/ pressure washing is slightly safer because the cars don't want to drive near it but it's very tedious and it's usually hot outside.
No.4702
>>4696I didn't mind doing that. I worked from fall to spring, so I didn't do it often. Plus I got to fool around while I worked when I did that. I don't mind a bit of danger, when you got those poor guys pushing carts outside all day.
Women's restroom was bad because you had to wait for it to be empty to clean, and by the time one woman leaves, another needs to use it. It was especially bad, because the bathrooms in the back were closed for a month or two, so the one bathroom got all the traffic, and you couldn't tell them to go to the back.
Plus those feminine hygiene boxes get used for literally anything. Many times I've checked them only to be hit hard with the smell of shit. Women are gross.
No.4722
>>4689I live on sudamerica.
>>4693Yes, it is.
No.4764
>>4702>Plus those feminine hygiene boxes get used for literally anything. Many times I've checked them only to be hit hard with the smell of shit. Women are gross.The whole mindset of people who do stuff like that is just foreign and disgusting to me.
No.4784
>>4764It's just people being poorly taught by parents. It wouldn't surprise me if a lot of women genuinely didn't know what it was for exactly. It's not like it's a common topic of conversation or anything.
No.4791
>>4784It seems kind of obvious not to shit in them though.
No.4792
>>4791They don't shit in them, but they toss baby diapers and TP in them. Rarely you'd get someone that shit themself too, and they throw their shitty panties in the box. Anyway, my point was, women don't know how to use bathrooms.
No.4844
>>4829If you haven't noticed, people suck. That's why personal space is so sacred. We are all forced to deal with people who disgust us occasionally even if we choose never to associate with them. If I met you, I would probably hate you too or dislike you, but it's nothing personal. Another answer would be fear of the other is necessary to harness human ingenuity.
No.4853
>>4829I think its a matter of perspective but also in being around others who fit with what you prefer.
It seems as if the world was hijacked at some point by some who had nefarious intent and they made a system which spread their nefariousness in multiple ways, via manipulative devices. Its a complicated matter but I believe it can be solved. Its like Jacque Fresco said about the environment compelling people to act in certain ways. It comes down to human behavior, not human nature. Human nature is just basic survival stuff, but behavior is something else and it can be quite complicated.
One of the of the potential solutions often tauted is "be the change you wish to see in the world"
No.4854
>>4853The world was always like this though, if you read histories it's filled with different groups using the most meaningless justifications to try and kill each other for no reason other than greed and power. It's kind of sad. Though I have hope that people will learn to be kinder someday.
No.4858
>>4844lol @ hating anon based on one post
No.4870
>>4857It would be great to make a breakaway civilization, but there are some hurdles to clear for that to work. At least I know there's a lot of like minded individuals online who are all for it, I've seen more than one thread about the topic on various boards. Some people are just that fed up with the broken system, maybe something will come of it eventually.
No.4881
Everything I do, I fail and have to start over again. Studying, working out, everything has to begin anew, from step one each time I lose a week or month to depression.
Each time I restart, I do it with less and less excitement. By the third time, I can't keep going on, because every repeated exercise or memorized kanji reminds me of how I started and failed, started and failed.
Since I was a wee lad, what motivated me was imagining a future self. A me that was skilled, constantly motivated, and had value that everyone recognized.
Now I'm 25, and all the gigachad fantasies I had as a retarded teenager came crashing down: I'm still me, still as bitter, emotional and frail. Except a bit more bald and with a bit more responsibilities towards the world at large.
At 25, I'm beginning realizing how short 5 years can get. And instead of motivating me to do better, it just reminds me of how I failed at everything, and how many times I started it only to fail again and again until I learned to give up completely.
No.4883
>>4881I'd recommend trying to view your life and motivations in another way. Sure, you aren't what you wanted to be, but who is? No reason to give up. When you find something you want to learn or practice, have a particular reason in mind, so that you can have a more concrete goal, something you can see yourself work toward.
Don't give me a (you), cause there's nothing to be gained from it.
No.4884
>>4829Human primates are restless in an urban environment: It's only a few thousand of years ago that we stepped out of the jungle and took up farming, while our time hunting boars and mammonths goes back hundreds of thousands of years.
This restlesness causes anxiety, unease, depression. They're all natural, because our brain and body are adapted to hunting rabbits and picking seeds, not managing the efficacy of thousands of employees and competing with companies that do the same.
Stress breaks people, they turn evil even if they don't want to. Religions or psychology can help one understand their self, find faults, and work to fix them. But there's an easier fix: Cults and ideologies.
Cults are a bit out of fashion as of late. Yet ideologies are all the rage, especially with the current technology.
With either one, you do not have to do any self work, self reflection, or self overcoming. You do not have to work on your flaws, chances are, these flaws are caused by something external to you. That in the end isn't really your fault. You can keep being a shitty person, as long as you direct your hate in the right direction.
The people falling for ideology are not evil per se. But they begin filtering the world through ideological distinctions: If someone is considered ideologically immoral, it's ok to attack him. If anything, attacking him makes you a better person. They do not need to understand you, accept that you have ideas of your own. Their understanding of you comes down to friend, or enemy. As long as you signal you're an enemy, you're ok to hate. If you signal you're a friend, they'll treat you normally until you slip up.
No.4885
>>4884Do you know how the chinese treated POW's during the vietnam war?
Unlike the Vietnamese, that just used brute force. They made their prisoners write essays, with small rewards like tasty snacks for the winner. The essays were about minor things, like "why I think America is imperfect", I'm sure even the biggest patriot has his gripes.
Then the winner's essay would be used as anti-American propaganda, and the winner had no possibility of defending himself. He couldn't deny he wrote the essay of his own free will, and none of the other prisoners would believe he wasn't on the side of the Chinese. Rather than denying it, the prisoner would eventually express more radical pro-chinese views of his own free will.
Writing is a powerful brainwashing tool.
And with the internet, especially social media, you do the chinese exercises every day. The small reward isn't a tasty snack, but some dopamine boosting upvotes. The end result is the same. You expressed your views, you can't back down and change your mind, because your identity is tied to what you wrote.
This isn't something that happens to some intellectuals with typewriters. Everyone who has a phone has posted some opinions using their name. Has begun a self-brainwashing process with the end goal of absolutely radicalizing themselves. Eliminating any sense of self for the sake of whatever ideological goal they began to slip into.
No.4891
>>4881I have the same issue and I'm older. I have accepted that while I will never be amazing at the things I want to learn (in my case drawing), I am at least trying to cultivate good habits in this life that will carry on.
No.4897
>>4846Open it up and replace the Omron switches.
>>4885The Chinese took POW's during the Vietnam War? That's news to me.
I don't think writing posts on anonymous IBs is as harmful. I play both sides all the time.
No.4898
>>4885>The small reward isn't a tasty snack, but some dopamine boosting upvotes. The end result is the same. You expressed your views, you can't back down and change your mind, because your identity is tied to what you wrote. That's actually pretty interesting Anon, I can easily see that outcome to things like that. While obviously not the same situation as Chinese torture camps, in my case I'm just upfront about my 'unpopular opinions' right off. Not being over-socialized as Ted Kaczynski talked about helps too. The combination helps me be pretty straightforward with people. Doesn't win me any popularity contests, but tbh I'd actually be concerned if I did, given the pozzed views of those around us who 'live in a society'. :^)
No.4916
I'm starting a new job, and my schedule is going to suck really badly for the next few weeks until I resign from my current one.
No.5048
Have you ever wanted to kys because of an internet comment? I'm embarrassed of feeling like this let alone talking about it but I'm just not doing well at the moment. It's all a bit much.
No.5049
>>5048If you say something stupid on the internet just move on, it's all anonymous after all.
You should only hate yourself if you're responsible for the death of a website you liked.
Like me No.5060
>>5049I've moved on lol, now I'm back to mild harmless depression.
What site was it btw?
No.5061
>>5060I'd rather not talk about it, for the good of this board as well.
No.5077
My life goes well lately all things considered
I just feel depressed over 1 thing. Ever since I was a fucking kid I had a single dream about growing up. To share my stories with the world through a visual medium. I remember I wanted to be a film director even before I knew what a film director is called. Eventually this desire changed as I grew up but the core remained the same. I am the stereotype of the fucking obnoxious daydreaming retard but this is fucking important for me. I want to make something. A comic. A videogame. Something. I want other people to read/play/watch about characters I wrote. Like them/hate them. Tell me I suck, tell me I am great. Just care in some way. I feel envy for the fact that people payed money to make complete shit and cash grabs and souless corporate bullshit. Everytime I watch a shit movie or series I feel a weird sence of injustice. Which I have enough self awareness to realise is unjustified. Cause I havent tried, in any serious way to create anything. But I cant do it. I cant make a game (I dont know how) and even if I learn I wont be able to make something good alone
I cant animate. The only thing I am half competent at is drawing. But even there I am mediocre at best. And I feel just depressed. I feel that I will never make what I wanna make, I will end up with a shitty Soulcrashing job as a normalfriend NPC.
That the best I would achieve if I tried would be to become a lolcow akin to chris chan or the creator of Jeff the Killer. And whatever I make will be mocked cause I just suck. And then I feel that these feelings are objectively stupid and obnoxious. And that I am being a cringy retard not by expressing them in any way but by having them at all or that all of this is me childishly wanting attention. Nothing deeper or more serious than a child running up to their parents proud of his new stupid story which includes 10 in the billionth "and then"s and the parents will just nod and said they like it
No.5079
>>5077You aren't going to get better feeling sorry for yourself. Just give it a try and see if you like it. The best option would probably be to make some low budget film with friends, if you have the means.
I'd just keep your actual identity seperate from your work if you do, and if it flops, you can try again under another name.
Do what's in your means now, and who knows, it might lead somewhere new for you.
No.5123
>>5077Your desire to create is sullied by your desire for recognition. You do not wish to create for its own sake, you wish to be recognized as a creator.
If tomorrow you woke up, and found yourself in an alternative universe, where you're a world-accepted artist. You would be fine with it. You wouldn't feel that you missed out on the creative process that led to the creation itself. What you want is for your ego to be satisfied by the experience of social acknowledgement. Because on some level you feel that your characters, and by extension experiences, are not valid unless they're acknowledged by someone else.
The shit movie or series that you feel "a sense of injustice" (actually an inverted feeling of superiority) towards. Was at least made by people interested in the act of creation, interested in artistic work for its own sake, unconcerned for its results.
Or at least, less concerned than you.
The suffering isn't coming from the injustices in the world. It's coming from aspects of your self.
This self-perception is false, it must be destroyed. So you can return to a state of unconditional creativity. Or no creativity at all. Maybe what you wanted was social acknowledgement and you were expressing it through artistic expression. In both cases, the answer will be evident after you remove this trapping.
No.5155
>>1787boss keeps telling me to use "modern" tools yet i almost always do the best on our team.
No.5174
I feel like a reverse hungry ghost. While the hungry ghosts have an overwhelming desire to consume that they can never fulfill, I have had a desire to create something since I was a child, that I can never stick with. The recognition would be nice, but really what I want more than anything is to just make something for my own satisfaction. I have tried drawing many times, but I never get very far… I am sure there is some lesson here I was meant to learn in this life.
No.5177
>>5174i do programming for a living and on my own time. it is a very rewarding feeling. i used to spend hours a day playing vidya now thats just boring compared to programming. i know it might be that good for only me maybe but i recommend you try it out too. plus its great money.
No.5178
>>5177I actually do programming myself and I don't like it at all. I prefer working with my hands.
No.5182
awesome thred….
i m tired making 48 hour work and get appreciated less than 8 hour gigs. i wish i can just unsee this but the person havent said "i took double time than you" so…
No.5184
if life is full of people who wanta to kill u and jail also full of people who ll kill you whats the difference lol
No.5186
i like it how irl people r so full of themselvs saying "o we remember all shit yer not getting away" then flip it the other minute "dont be conceited" like lol
the irony is how powerful being dumb can be lol why bother lol i dont think god handle sufferjnf that much i guess like irl folk
No.5187
>>5123 if suffering isnt real then jesus is completely worthless to mohd* then black slavery is not a thing including jewslavery and then some more like hell and heavn isnt real tooblol
No.5201
>>5157Nevermind, I got it back :)
No.5203
Someone shat on the game I was playing and now I can't get back to playing it
No.5204
>>5203Your game sucks because it's for babies
No.5207
>>5205What game were you playing anon?
No.5209
>>5207SMT for the SNES
Someone called the SMT series meme games and I got all convoluted. What the fuck is even a meme game?
No.5210
>>5209Small Miniscule Tiny, like a baby?
SMT is alright. I played too many turn based JRPGs all at once not long ago, so I exhausted myself.
Just play it. Don't be a baby, and play your baby games like a man, even if someone shits on it.
No.5250
I keep going back and looking at the online profiles of my old estranged friends. Wish I had been less disagreeable and antisocial.
No.5298
>put sage in the wrong field
Derp. I need some sleep.
No.5299
When I was younger, I was a much less simple person. Maybe it's because I wasn't sure what I enjoyed in life, and that made me really angsty. I sort of miss being a pretentious jerk to my peers. I miss being able to put myself over others due to my achievements.
I miss that time I partied with my friends on a Sunday night and spent the next day of school hung over and sleep deprived. I miss driving my best friend home from school everyday. I miss grappling with my bros and beating them all because I refuse to lose.
I miss being a kid.
I hate what I've become. A manchild living an eternal summer, out of fear of committing to something, anything. I've been trying to hide from that fact for this past year but I can't stand it any more. I'm tired of playing a knight without a liege. I want to sieze control of my life and live it my way. I want to do the things that others cannot do, and I want to excel in the things I enjoy.
This transitional phase has to end at some point, right?
No.5365
>>5357beacuse of Ramadan?
No.5366
>>5365No, because I ended up getting fuckton of stretchmarks all over my body, makes me feel like a Joy Mutant from Lisa.
Shouldn't have let myself get this way
No.5367
>>5366that's really unhealthy girl be safe
No.5368
i have a german exam next week and my speaking and writing skills suck… i'm going to fail and there's nothing i can do
No.5369
>>5368I wish i knew German and somehow help you
No.5371
>>5368I took years of German in school and never progressed that far due to getting confused by all the cases.
No.5372
>>5250you're still in time for long and stable friendships
No.5375
>>5368German is my native language, maybe I can help?
Could be too late though, you really should always do your homework and study for exams early. Also ask for help from teachers or do research online if you don't understand something.
>>5373Pixiv? It has h and no h. Although I guess it's japanese only?
No.5376
>>5375>PixivMostly Japanese, search for anything and you'll get mostly softcore porn or straight up porn, and I think it's mostly a gallery rather than a community with discussions and stuff. I do have a Pixiv account but I don't know of any forum-like place in it.
No.5387
>>5373You and me both. I suppose there's the various loomis boards. I'm convinced art is a solitary pursuit unless you go to to some kind of art school or manage to find your own small group of friends, or start your own…
No.5409
Please clean your dishes as you make them anons. It really simplifies washing your dishes, and if you use a dishwasher, your dishes won't come out gross because dishwashers suck.
Just add warm water, soap, and a sponge and you can stay on top of your dishes without a whole lot of time wasted and you won't have to worry about not having any dishes for food!
No.5430
Helpe, I turned into a blob.
Blub blub blub.
No.5431
>>5409If only my flatmates understood this!
No.5436
I hate when people treat smash bros as some tryhard competitive game. Most of my friends are "epic gamers" unfortunately, so playing against them just means they'll use the same cheese strats everytime. Maybe it works against the bots they practice against, but they don't have the skill to apply that against people reliably. It's just lame when they start spamming the same moves over and over.
I guess it wouldn't irritate me so much if they actually got good at the game. I imagine they spend more time watching videos on it than actually learning the game.
Fuck I'm annoyed.
No.5459
I am taking psychiatric meds and they seem to be helping me overcome my crippling OCD-like anxiety and not obsess over things. I have heard so much contradictory things about meds that I do not know who I can trust, on one hand things geniuently seem to be getting better and I don't feel like I'm losing my intelectual capabilities or really feeling different. I feel like my personality is changing for the better and I don't know if it's the personal revelations I'm having, or is it just meds doing their work but the change does not seem to be negative, nor do I feel like a worse person. By the change not being negative I feel like I'm becoming more open minded and calm, as well as getting rid of obsessive and illogical thoughts I'm having I've been literally obsessing over fictional fucking characters and getting nervous over them before due to sudden spikes of adrenaline, even though I know it was ridiculous. Everything besides that seems to be normal and I feel better than usually. I'm still nervous that perhaps this is damaging to my brain, even though I'm taking them for a long time and don't seem to be suffering any adverse effects. My psychiatrist and psychologist are telling me that my symptoms are strong enough to justify them.
Anyone had similar experiences?
No.5462
Here is 25 different info-pics showing that MASSIVE numbers of people are DYING and getting seriously sick from the covid19 vaccine. It is your duty to spread this, warn all your friends and family, and tell them to warn all their friends too. This is life and death we are talking about. Save your friends and family's lives!
https://freespeechextremist.com/notice/A6Ziv0KDbZQTOGrFoG No.5467
>>5459Those sorts of medications affect everyone differently. Maybe its actually working for you. Just relax and see how things progress from here.
No.5470
My feet hurt I got a splinter I pissed myself I'm crying right now
No.5489
>>5459I was on Wellbutrin for a time and am glad I got off it. It apparently has bad side effects in the long term, and it didn't help me anyway. All it seemed to do was increase my sex drive.
No.5540
>>5530>We live in a boring world, lacking in mystery. Oh my sweet child, we live in a world filled with mysteries. The issue is that a lot that decide to follow those end up insane because of the things involving them
>I want to experience something that will make me question the things we accept as fact, something that will put my mind and imagination to work.Trust me, you don't
No.5543
shittiest thread on the whole fucking board
No.5544
>>5543lets not be rude now
No.5557
>>5556Maybe that's why people can "feel" that they're being stared at or being watched. Too weak to be interpretted as anything in particular, but certainly something that can be picked up on.
No.5563
>>5530Check out some of the reading material in the /fringe/ thread over on /server/. There are a lot of things out there that have yet to be adequately explained scientifically. At this point, I'm pretty convinced that what we think of as the physical world is just the tip of the iceberg as far as what's out there.
>>5543In what sense?
>>5556From what I recall reading years ago, there have been studies on psi phenomena in the past that have gotten results greater than chance. That doesn't mean people who exhibit psychic talent are basically X-Men or anything though.
No.5589
the god licks the atheist butt's much better. guess they r indeed friendgots
No.5636
>>5632That's why I stopped posting on traditional forums. I remember using the word "friendgot" on one a long time ago that seemed like it would be pretty relaxed about that kind of thing and ended up getting a message from one of the mods that was kind of chastising me for it. Before that, I remember getting into trouble several times on a much bigger board.
I don't mix well with the hugbox-like nature of most forums. Even the ones more oriented toward allowing controversial ideas you have to worry about not stepping on people's toes, whether it's the mods and staff members or just other users.
No.5655
I wanted to learn how to draw at least to a basic level and someone from /loomis/ suggested to me that I should start with drawabox.com . I understand that learning the fundamentals is important but after going through a little under half the lessons, I'm bored out of my fucking mind. Repeatedly drawing relatively simple objects is laborious and mind numbing. I hate it and i'm rapidly losing all my motivation to learn to draw at all. Drawing dozens or hundreds of leaves and arrows and boxes and cylinders and mushrooms and beans and shit isn't interesting in the slightest, it's a chore to do, it feels like more work I have to do, on top of all the other work I have to do every day. It makes me not want to do it at all. Plus I still don't feel like i'm any closer to being able to draw a simple cartoon or construct a character or anything. The site said to take drawing breaks in-between lessons by drawing stuff that you wanted to draw, but I don't fucking know how to, that was the whole point of learning, so I can draw stuff I actually did want to draw. Every since I was a kid I was always shit at drawing things, I could never make anything more complicated than a stickman and now as an adult, I decide to really and truly give drawing a shot and it's making me bored out of my mind. I'm actually extremely upset by this.
I would very much appreciate any advice, because I really would like to learn to draw. I just don't want it to feel like it's a massive chore to do. I want drawing to be fun, or at least somewhat engaging. I don't want to have my spirit killed by doing tedious exercises and then just give up because I'll have trained myself to associate drawing with monotony and boredom.
No.5656
>>5655My advice is to not bother drawing things that don't interest you. You can learn to draw other things as you go along.
Break what you're trying to draw down into simpler shapes and go from there.
I was considered okay at drawing when I was a kid but never put the effort in to be truly good at drawing, so I don't know how good my advice is. I've never used Loomis-style methods, as they seemed counterintuitive to me.
No.5668
>>5655Most advice you hear on the internet is very bad. Drawabox lessons are all fine, but you shouldn't "just do them". Drawing a million shapes won't help you get better if you're not trying to learn something from it, and if you spend most of your time drawing rectangles then you'll mostly learn how to draw rectangles.
Everyone is different, different preferences, different experiences, different interests. The best possible advice I can give you is to listen to everyone but believe only yourself. That includes me, don't just believe me, think about it yourself and figure out if any of it makes sense to you. Get as many opinions and ideas and methods as you can to broaden your horizons, but then figure out by yourself what you should do. If you feel like drawabox lessons aren't helping you, then simply stop doing them.
I never did any kind of "exercises" myself and I think I can draw fine. My whole life I've simply drawn what I want, when something isn't working out, I try to figure out how to fix it and learn as I go. Of course I often can't figure it out or it just turns out bad, in that case I delete it and try something else, getting really demotivated may be involved but such is the life of an artist.
Sometimes I post it online and then cringe and regret it later. If I wanted to learn to draw something, say, anime eyes, I'd look at anime eyes and try to mimick them. Reference images are the best teacher, not just photos but also other people's drawings and "tutorials", look at all of them and try to see what you're not seeing. Save them so you can look at them again later because there's no way your mind will absorb it all that easily. This will sound very contrarian, but when you're a beginner I'd recommend looking at drawings instead of photos, because drawings have already simplified all the details into more easily understandable form, if you want to draw cartoons then cartoons will also teach you the best ways to stylize things so you don't have to reinvent the wheel in that regard, and learning from drawings is also more fun.
No.5669
>>5655>>5668Why is the post character limit so small?The only specific thing I'd tell you to practice is trying to see things as 3 dimensional shapes, I'm naturally interested in that though so maybe that's just me, but I find it very helpful towards making things look good.
If you really feel like you're stuck then take a photo or a drawing you like and trace over it. You can't miss anything if you're literally physically drawing it. I try to tell people how useful tracing is for learning but it's very hard to convince people because there's this idea that it's somehow "cheating". The idea isn't to copy or steal their drawing, but to learn how they drew it, you'll notice all kinds of things you didn't notice before by doing it. Don't save it though, delete it when you're done.
The earliest drawing related memory I have is copying all 151 original pokemon from some pamphlet and filling an entire wall with them. I didn't quite trace them because the pamphlet was so small, I copied them by eye and basically enlargened them.
Also here's my drawing, maybe it makes me sound more convincing. Or maybe less.
No.5671
>>5655No advice as I suck as well but I learnt another creative skill after drawing did not work and fell in love with that but my point is that it takes time to get good and as soon as you get a handle on your art no matter what it is you will have fun.
Please keep trying I wish I could draw as well and you should be proud you are trying so hard!! you will get there ify ou keep trying friend
No.5674
I'm doing a One Meal a Day keto diet but I don't seem to be losing weight, in two weeks I only lost like 3 kilos.
No.5675
>>5674Hi friend!! Good job trying to lose weight I will drop some tips as I know sooo much about this and lost an amazing amount of weight doing something like this and quickly!!
If OMAD keto is not working you are eating too much on your meal and it helps a lot to get used to fasting you can lose nearly a pound a day from fasting!!
I did fasting lost sooo much weight and it is fun as well the good news for you is it is extra easy when you are doing keto already just try see if you can stick it out for a few days at a time maybe even 5 :)
No.5678
Feeling little sad friends. Life is lonely
No.5680
I never had luck with diets. If you are trying to lose weight just try to eat healthier and schedule in exercise.
Be consistent.
Good luck
No.5682
>>5677If you have to do things and not NEET it will be harder fren but maybe you could add a day of fasting to increase weight loss like on the weekend and also coffee helps :)
>>5680exercise is the most inefficient way to lose weight not to be mean.
No.5683
>>5678That is just no good is it I am also sad and have no one to talk to sigh bit if you want to share I would be willing and actually want to hear what troubles you.
You are not alone friend even if it does feel that way..
No.5684
>>5677Grace-chan is so cute.
No.5693
Listening to doom jazz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3MOaRaEoCc and ummm doing nothing..
Sort of hope you all have a good time
No.5723
>>5722Thanks anon, took a carbon pill and drank some ascorbic acid, hope tomorrow I get much better
No.5724
>>5721I used to drink Gatorade when I'd get diarrhea. I don't know if it wold help you, but it had a placebo effect on me at the very least.