Learning disorder? I don't want to come off as annoying, but have you tried multiple approaches to learning? I know that reading things won't help me learn unless I actually put it into practice or explain it in my own words.
>nor do I want to have my bipolar disorder.
Yeah... it really sucks. It's led me to be a very inconsistent person in all regards. I'd much rather be consistently mediocre than this shit.
>it feels painfully heart wrenching that I can't achieve it due to not being able to fully grasp it.
I set my goals relatively low. I've already failed to achieve many things, either on my own part, due to others, or both. I don't want that disappointment, so I'm only going to set my sights on things within reach within a month or so's time.