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/kind/ - Random Acts of Kindness

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I hate to admit this but at times i feel like being kind to people is submissive behavior and a sign of weakness. Being nice is only commendable if you're a person who can be useful to them in a pragmatic and egoist way because for them, it's a sign of being responsible with their status as superior beings.

I feel that people usually dont enjoy talking to really nice people
I used to be overly nice to everybody I met IRL years ago and they all seemed to appreciate me a lot for it, but things always ended up with those people fucking me over or taking advantage of me for being nice to them.

Nowadays I'm super bitter and I don't trust people enough to let myself be nice to them, I feel like allowing myself to be nice, kind and supportive to people would seem like a sign of weakness, how the f..k do I fix this? I'm really confused.


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There's fake kindness where you take pity on someone and make yourself feel good by patting them on the head, and which smells of weakness because it goes hand in hand with encouraging weakness. If the person you're "helping" actually improves, then it means a lot of things that one might not want to acknowledge, like that improvement is possible in the first place and that this other person above whom you've mentally positioned yourself is now level with or higher than you in some sense. It's the sort of "kindness" that belies a slithering co-dependency.

That was my gut reaction to the thread title anyway. It's probably not actually what you were talking about, lol.

>Being nice is only commendable if you're a person who can be useful to them in a pragmatic and egoist way

Yeah, pretty much. When I go out of my way to help others, it's fundamentally because I want a nice place to live, online or off. We all influence each other's lives, and the drug addict sprawled out on the sidewalk in front of the grocery store is someone I want to help because I'd rather he put his shoulder to the wheel with the rest of us and support the cause of civilization instead of dragging it down by begging for drug money. I want every doomer to be a bloomer, spreading optimism instead of despair, because these behaviors ripple outward to shape the world.
>the body was too long.


>I used to be overly nice to everybody … ended up with those people fucking me over
Sounds like "nice guy" syndrome. You were expecting something in return. To get that 'something' usually requires that you possess social capital (ie, something for which you're respected or desired by your peers.) Whether it's true or not, showing deference-via-niceness signals to others that you lack any capital, which is why when the chips were down, you didn't matter to those IRL people. And it's not necessarily because they're just shitty, either— social capital includes stuff like useful real life skills that are necessary to a functioning society, and social circles are a microcosm of the greater society.

tldr, you were nice, but you probably weren't compelling (in terms of personality, the way a popular youtuber might be) or indispensable in practical terms.
>Nowadays I'm super bitter and I don't trust people enough to let myself be nice to them,
Basically, you don't trust yourself to handle being deceived, mistreated, etc by hustlers. And certainly, bad outcomes should be part of the calculation by which you decide how to deal with people, but you overestimate the cost, probably because your approach hasn't been working for you.

You don't need to become hard-hearted. Just recognize what people actually want out of life when you interact with them. Maybe read "how to make friends and influence people" which can probably help you more than I can in reframing the way you think about these things.


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Kindness without judgement or balance is weakness. There is a time, place and proper amount for everything that is good.


You can only be kind from a position of strength, inner strength that is. Forcing yourself to be kind when not under duress/out of expediency is admirable. Shitty people have some sense that they shouldn't get too close to actual nice people lest they be ruined. You can't really shoot the shit with or trust a goody two shoes in confidence. Niceness is a more general, informal kind of politeness. People not only want to be manipulated - they're begging for it provided you adopt the proper mannerisms in doing so.

If I help someone, I feel good from the fact that they feel good. I don't give a toss about society.


I and I postan all da rude ting in dis here thread nao rasta
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or else i'll say mean words back


Peace, my bredren


Wah gwaan?


Always try to better yuhself and try to progress
Work and perseverence is the way to success
Always try yuh best, nothing any less
Steppin up di ladder wid di righteousness


Mods pls ban OP

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What are some kind and comfy documentaries? been watching * Planet earth 2006 * and im liking it a lot better than i thought i would be its filled with breath taking and brilliant looking nature scenes.


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The last /doc/ I watched was September 11 - The New Pearl Harbor. It was comfy despite its subject matter. Very informative and the narrator has a nice voice.


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I've been watching The Life of Birds from here:

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kind? I like kind!


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I like you OP!

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Well hello there.


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Oh, hi there friends!



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